In arranged marriages, whenever the girl’s parents go to see the groom, they usually just check his family background and his home and maybe occupation. If he looks good, is mature and nice enough, they select him as a prospective groom for their daughter.
However, when the boy’s parents go to see the prospective bride, they judge her based on various aspects – whether she knows how to cook food, her qualifications, her capability of managing homes, her ability to adjust to other families, her complexion, looks, personality, whether she is willing to leave work after marriage as per family requirements.
Is this the right way? In my opinion, no. Why is a girl expected to be perfect in every way, while perfection is never a criterion for choosing boys?
This is one of the many reasons as to why girls suffer after marriage. In my view, a girl’s parents should also set criteria for selecting a prospective groom for their daughter. They should also judge a groom on the basis of physical appearance, education, work, personal values, etc. Then they can be aware of what kind of a person he is and whether he’s a good match for their daughter.
In our Indian families, parents usually believe in the following: “Ladka to theek hona chahiye bas, job honi chahiye, family achhi honi chahiye. Bas aur kya chahiye humein (The boy should be decent, should have a job and belong to a respectable family. What else do we need)?”
This is totally wrong. They should think of the love, support and care they have given to their daughters since their childhood and whether they will be similarly loved in their new families.
A respectable family alone shouldn’t be the criteria for judging a guy; we should also check his education, his maturity levels and how he is able to handle responsibility. Only then can we find good matches for our daughters.