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A Letter To The New Age Hollow Feminist Man

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Dear ‘Superior Being’

You are the self-appointed superior gender sitting on the top bench of the hierarchy in society. No, I don’t hate you. I have just a few questions, and a few things to tell you.

How does it feel to walk in the dark with no worries if the street light is out, and you get to see fireflies and the waning moon playing hide and seek in the clouds?

How does it feel to breathe freedom without the fear of someone coming and touching you without your consent, as if your body belongs to them?

How does it feel to ride bare-chested and feel the breeze against your body in a cool windy night?

How does it feel to sleep in your underwear when there is no power supply?

How does it feel to go about anywhere at any time of the day as and when you wish?

How does it feel not to understand what “shady” and “sly” mean to us?

How does it feel to chant God’s name on the pedestal meant exclusively for your gender?

How does it feel not to have a curfew, or if you do have one, not give a damn about it?

How does the world feel from your vantage point?

Please reflect when you say “I believe in equal rights for all women,” and at the same time believe that it is necessary to have a man’s presence in the household, or the world will fall apart in your absence!

And who are you with your protectionist badge, again? You certainly don’t believe in your clan, do you? And still, you blow up your chest and feel content about the hard shield you press us against. Most of those protectionist jobs are taken by you, all sorts of security forces to protect us from your own selves, ironic, isn’t it?

Could you take responsibility for putting on a condom when you have your pleasureful moment and hit the climax inside of her and later just be “Oops” about it? Prevention is better than cure, you must know, also if you really don’t care about “extra dotted”, please please think about the multiple sexually transmitted diseases and Health complications you are risking for each other.

You “beast” up yourself in parties, at the gym, at work, and have no qualms over the language you use to define yourself as someone who demands to thumb on the “authority” template.

But you also you take vigil in a candlelight march when there is a sexual harassment case in your city, state, university, or school your fist up in the air. Oh Goody Good Guy! Who would take responsibility for your actions, like when you brush against someone’s body without their consent, taking it as a vessel of measurement to know whether the other person is interested? When you can’t look up into her eyes during a conversation? Because your life must revolve around the career you wish to have, or the so-called suitable caste or class you marry into, all the while assuming that a woman must wag her tail and tag along wherever you go. So, you will oscillate between whether to stick around or let go and come back.

Why is that you have the power to “declare” and “affirm” your relationship with a person, but your partner is pressured to answer people’s speculations? And how could she reject you? You are the hunk, you never get rejected. “It’s usually me, getting out of a relationship most of the time!” You say. In that case, dear sir, the wand of decision-making is presumably in your hands. So please unpin the Feminism brooch you have been sticking around on your chest pocket, flagging your flaky stand.

WhatsApp Image 2018-06-10 at 9.41.38 PM

Last but not the least, understand that “the fair sex” (women) and “the third gender” (trans people) have agency, and a right to decision-making. So how about you do not weigh yourself down with society’s made up concept of “chivalry”. Sit back and relax and recognise that people can make decisions for themselves.

A plea: Don’t call yourself a feminist just because you read a lot when you don’t remember the multiple times you mansplain, and barge into a conversation, uninvited, believing you have all the knowledge to supersede anyone. You have been ignorant about the world surrounding you. You may have been gaslighting people around you on the pretext of showing off the knowledge you have!

Oh, Dear Superior Being, I don’t hate you. I just wish you understood your privileges. I wish you understood all genders deserve respect. If any of this comes across as highly offensive to you, maybe it’s because you don’t understand. Yes, I do believe in shared responsibilities, what irks me is the denial to hold up your end of the bargain.

Sincerely,

The Ordinary Woman.

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An ambassador and trained facilitator under Eco Femme (a social enterprise working towards menstrual health in south India), Sanjina is also an active member of the MHM Collective- India and Menstrual Health Alliance- India. She has conducted Menstrual Health sessions in multiple government schools adopted by Rotary District 3240 as part of their WinS project in rural Bengal. She has also delivered training of trainers on SRHR, gender, sexuality and Menstruation for Tomorrow’s Foundation, Vikramshila Education Resource Society, Nirdhan trust and Micro Finance, Tollygunj Women In Need, Paint It Red in Kolkata.

Now as an MH Fellow with YKA, she’s expanding her impressive scope of work further by launching a campaign to facilitate the process of ensuring better menstrual health and SRH services for women residing in correctional homes in West Bengal. The campaign will entail an independent study to take stalk of the present conditions of MHM in correctional homes across the state and use its findings to build public support and political will to take the necessary action.

Saurabh has been associated with YKA as a user and has consistently been writing on the issue MHM and its intersectionality with other issues in the society. Now as an MHM Fellow with YKA, he’s launched the Right to Period campaign, which aims to ensure proper execution of MHM guidelines in Delhi’s schools.

The long-term aim of the campaign is to develop an open culture where menstruation is not treated as a taboo. The campaign also seeks to hold the schools accountable for their responsibilities as an important component in the implementation of MHM policies by making adequate sanitation infrastructure and knowledge of MHM available in school premises.

Read more about his campaign.

Harshita is a psychologist and works to support people with mental health issues, particularly adolescents who are survivors of violence. Associated with the Azadi Foundation in UP, Harshita became an MHM Fellow with YKA, with the aim of promoting better menstrual health.

Her campaign #MeriMarzi aims to promote menstrual health and wellness, hygiene and facilities for female sex workers in UP. She says, “Knowledge about natural body processes is a very basic human right. And for individuals whose occupation is providing sexual services, it becomes even more important.”

Meri Marzi aims to ensure sensitised, non-discriminatory health workers for the needs of female sex workers in the Suraksha Clinics under the UPSACS (Uttar Pradesh State AIDS Control Society) program by creating more dialogues and garnering public support for the cause of sex workers’ menstrual rights. The campaign will also ensure interventions with sex workers to clear misconceptions around overall hygiene management to ensure that results flow both ways.

Read more about her campaign.

MH Fellow Sabna comes with significant experience working with a range of development issues. A co-founder of Project Sakhi Saheli, which aims to combat period poverty and break menstrual taboos, Sabna has, in the past, worked on the issue of menstruation in urban slums of Delhi with women and adolescent girls. She and her team also released MenstraBook, with menstrastories and organised Menstra Tlk in the Delhi School of Social Work to create more conversations on menstruation.

With YKA MHM Fellow Vineet, Sabna launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society. As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Read more about her campaign. 

A student from Delhi School of Social work, Vineet is a part of Project Sakhi Saheli, an initiative by the students of Delhi school of Social Work to create awareness on Menstrual Health and combat Period Poverty. Along with MHM Action Fellow Sabna, Vineet launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society.

As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Find out more about the campaign here.

A native of Bhagalpur district – Bihar, Shalini Jha believes in equal rights for all genders and wants to work for a gender-equal and just society. In the past she’s had a year-long association as a community leader with Haiyya: Organise for Action’s Health Over Stigma campaign. She’s pursuing a Master’s in Literature with Ambedkar University, Delhi and as an MHM Fellow with YKA, recently launched ‘Project अल्हड़ (Alharh)’.

She says, “Bihar is ranked the lowest in India’s SDG Index 2019 for India. Hygienic and comfortable menstruation is a basic human right and sustainable development cannot be ensured if menstruators are deprived of their basic rights.” Project अल्हड़ (Alharh) aims to create a robust sensitised community in Bhagalpur to collectively spread awareness, break the taboo, debunk myths and initiate fearless conversations around menstruation. The campaign aims to reach at least 6000 adolescent girls from government and private schools in Baghalpur district in 2020.

Read more about the campaign here.

A psychologist and co-founder of a mental health NGO called Customize Cognition, Ritika forayed into the space of menstrual health and hygiene, sexual and reproductive healthcare and rights and gender equality as an MHM Fellow with YKA. She says, “The experience of working on MHM/SRHR and gender equality has been an enriching and eye-opening experience. I have learned what’s beneath the surface of the issue, be it awareness, lack of resources or disregard for trans men, who also menstruate.”

The Transmen-ses campaign aims to tackle the issue of silence and disregard for trans men’s menstruation needs, by mobilising gender sensitive health professionals and gender neutral restrooms in Lucknow.

Read more about the campaign here.

A Computer Science engineer by education, Nitisha started her career in the corporate sector, before realising she wanted to work in the development and social justice space. Since then, she has worked with Teach For India and Care India and is from the founding batch of Indian School of Development Management (ISDM), a one of its kind organisation creating leaders for the development sector through its experiential learning post graduate program.

As a Youth Ki Awaaz Menstrual Health Fellow, Nitisha has started Let’s Talk Period, a campaign to mobilise young people to switch to sustainable period products. She says, “80 lakh women in Delhi use non-biodegradable sanitary products, generate 3000 tonnes of menstrual waste, that takes 500-800 years to decompose; which in turn contributes to the health issues of all menstruators, increased burden of waste management on the city and harmful living environment for all citizens.

Let’s Talk Period aims to change this by

Find out more about her campaign here.

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A former Assistant Secretary with the Ministry of Women and Child Development in West Bengal for three months, Lakshmi Bhavya has been championing the cause of menstrual hygiene in her district. By associating herself with the Lalana Campaign, a holistic menstrual hygiene awareness campaign which is conducted by the Anahat NGO, Lakshmi has been slowly breaking taboos when it comes to periods and menstrual hygiene.

A Gender Rights Activist working with the tribal and marginalized communities in india, Srilekha is a PhD scholar working on understanding body and sexuality among tribal girls, to fill the gaps in research around indigenous women and their stories. Srilekha has worked extensively at the grassroots level with community based organisations, through several advocacy initiatives around Gender, Mental Health, Menstrual Hygiene and Sexual and Reproductive Health Rights (SRHR) for the indigenous in Jharkhand, over the last 6 years.

Srilekha has also contributed to sustainable livelihood projects and legal aid programs for survivors of sex trafficking. She has been conducting research based programs on maternal health, mental health, gender based violence, sex and sexuality. Her interest lies in conducting workshops for young people on life skills, feminism, gender and sexuality, trauma, resilience and interpersonal relationships.

A Guwahati-based college student pursuing her Masters in Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Bidisha started the #BleedwithDignity campaign on the technology platform Change.org, demanding that the Government of Assam install
biodegradable sanitary pad vending machines in all government schools across the state. Her petition on Change.org has already gathered support from over 90000 people and continues to grow.

Bidisha was selected in Change.org’s flagship program ‘She Creates Change’ having run successful online advocacy
campaigns, which were widely recognised. Through the #BleedwithDignity campaign; she organised and celebrated World Menstrual Hygiene Day, 2019 in Guwahati, Assam by hosting a wall mural by collaborating with local organisations. The initiative was widely covered by national and local media, and the mural was later inaugurated by the event’s chief guest Commissioner of Guwahati Municipal Corporation (GMC) Debeswar Malakar, IAS.

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