As difficult it is for me to write this and share here, it is million times more difficult for anyone to take that decision.
I know, we are all constantly fighting stigmas of this society and we all fear ‘what ifs’. But, how can the fear of stigma be bigger than the threat to your life? How can someone’s opinion about you restrict you from your freedom, happiness and a respectful existence? Your life is bigger than the society’s created stigma around divorce.
You are a confident and independent woman, yet in that abusive and violent relationship, you constantly give chance after chance to save your relationship but in return, you are abused and tortured worse than before. The cycle of abuse continues.
You are in constant dilemma, you don’t sleep well, you don’t eat right, you have embraced grief in a way it has become one with your existence, it takes effort to smile, your spend the day anticipating the night’s torture and your nights remind you of your beautiful past when you dreamt that everything would be right. You curse your destiny, you curse your being and all those decisions you took in past that have reduced you to a woman who is accepting the worst. The cycle of grief continues.
You constantly fear:
1. What would people talk about me? How would I face them?
2. What if I end up alone, without a companion?
3. What if I get into another relationship that’s even worse?
1. People talk about you all the time for something or the other, but they can only talk. They are as powerful as you allow them to be, if their opinions bother you that means you are empowering them to impact your life. Nothing would then matter, it will all pass like a storm for once and all.
2. You do not need a companion in the form of a husband. If you come out and explore this world, you will find there are so many things to do, there are so many people to know and most importantly you will get a chance to know yourself. To do what you always wanted to. You will need time to restore your broken self-esteem and confidence, gift yourself that time.
3. When you are back on your own and have grown with self-love and high on confidence, you will feel the transformation, you will realise you have magic within. You will be amazed by yourself and when you do that, you need not worry about bad relationships anymore. You will be wiser, emotionally independent and liberated that no man can control you of how you should feel about yourself. You will find all the answers yourself and you shall then find love, a genuine love that stays forever.
After reading this post, if you are in dilemma, take a break from that abusive relationship, live somewhere far away from that abusive partner, do everything you wished to do in your career and for your personal growth. Fall in love with yourself and then decide what is it that you actually want. But for now, respect yourself enough and just take a break from that torture you are in.