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Fighting Patriarchy And Sexism Alongside Men

It seems as if the world is running a marathon to counter the possibility of your survival as a protagonist or a misogynist. Where are we ‘leading’ – as a country or as a society? We are producing a bunch of stupid people who are not taught the values or ethics that are required to make life sustainable for a purpose. But, they always find destructive and complex ways. Does the possession of a sword make them masculine?

To be very honest, I often think that most men are nothing more than a ‘presentable’ possession of a family to follow the legacy of producing yet another bunch of stupid beings. Have we ever wondered the reason behind the emergence of such emotionless beings? Since childhood, they are raised and taught the principles of being dominant and fearless. Apart from the genetic difference, the ‘distinction’ of being a man and woman (in terms of character, behaviour and upbringing) has been imbibed in them thoroughly.

A man is supposed to think well, and be authoritative and commanding. He is a man – so he can’t shed tears, be frightened of any situation or express his fears and doubts. Our society, too, plays a vital role in describing a man’s character. They never realise that the repercussions of such perceptions can be so heinous. When it comes to treating a woman well, they often forget the meaning of ‘respect’ and ‘vitality’ – both of which women deserve.

They are supposed to be raised under hard conditions. The austerity of manhood is often termed as ‘chauvinist’. This pride is fake and hidden behind the slanders they often give to people. In the end, they remain answerable to no one. To add to this, the society and families play the most important role in characterising the ‘being of a man’ while assassinating human behaviour and values. I don’t think that we can completely blame men for being what they are. They are rarely aware of the differences. Issues like domestic violence, harassment, dowry, rape, subjugation of women are the real examples of the existing scenario. The number of such incidents is multiplying every second. Who can we hold responsible for all this?

We need to understand that these men are coming with the mindset of treating women like commodities for their own selfish purposes and needs. However, the times are changing – and it can be hoped that the upbringing of men will also change.

Still, it’s extremely painful to witness sensitive issues cropping up daily – regardless of age, caste, class, gender and sex. There is therefore an urgent need to develop certain skills in men so that they are also able to acknowledge the austerity and hardships a woman goes through. In that context, this slogan is perhaps relevant, “Beta padao, sanskar sikhao.”

In the end, the society is majorly responsible for this ‘phenomenal agenda’. Men too are part of our society and culture. They too have the right to feel humane and experience sanity.

Certain steps will help us cultivate a bright future for both genders – a future where both men and women will stand shoulder-to-shoulder, and be responsible for their own equality. The number of incidents related to rape, harassment, domestic violence and sexuality will also drop down.

For instance, consider this example of segregation – ‘pink (the colour), dolls and house plays’ for girls and ‘blue (the colour), cricket and football’ for boys. To address this, let’s exchange the role-plays – and you will notice a significant difference in the upbringing of both the sexes. Our idea is a positive approach where both have the freedom to live and contribute to society in the best way possible.

These issues lie within the ambit of ‘mainstream differences’ – and with age, they are intensified by our gendered culture. After all, children don’t inherit intellectual differences. Rather, they learn them and adapt accordingly.

This point is backed by Eliot“Yes, boys and girls, men and women, are different,” she states in a recent paper in New Scientist. “But most of those differences are far smaller than the ‘Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus’ stereotypes suggest.”

On the other hand, Cambridge University psychologist and autism expert Simon Baron-Cohen says, “The female brain is predominantly hard-wired for empathy. The male brain is predominantly hard-wired for understanding and building systems.”

How Can We Bring Change In The Society And The Predominant Scenarios That Are Responsible?

1. We need to encourage positive male ‘role-model involvement’ in our children’s lives – as nurturers and supporters.

2. A family is an institution which comprises of people with different genders. So, the first change begins at home.

3. Single parents, especially fathers, can become role models for their kids who have, till then, been protected from the harsh reality and have dealt only with the choicest of options.

4. ‘A man is known for his physical ability while a woman is looked upon as an emotional and comfort support’ – we need to break this notion while engaging with both girls and boys.

5. Men should talk about the topics like sex, menstruation and other hormone related issues with their kids. This can also help smash taboos and myths about the society.

6. Eradicating malpractices will also bridge the gap between both the sexes and help them ensure a bright future for their kids too.

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Featured image used for representative purposes only.

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