Young adults staying with their parents despite having a job that can pay for your own room or BHK is an acceptable thing among Indians. In many European countries, children staying with parents after 18 are looked down upon. Staying with parents despite having a job that can pay for your own home and life is something which you can’t find in most other countries.
You can always justify staying with parents into 20s 30 and even into 40s as part of our culture and values. Probably, people are too inspired by Karan Johar or Sanjay Leela Bhansali movies a lot. Does someone who staying with their parents love them a lot? I don’t think so. A lot of times, staying with parents even after having a stable job and income is nothing but selfishness.
Earlier I had my dad to do run around for everything done, but I was forced to do everything on my own when I moved out. Thankfully, I have a mother who insisted that I join a college outside of my home state (Kerala) for graduation. I did the same for post-graduation. I have had to stay away from my parents ever since.
One can get emotional about this and reflect that parents do a lot for children and that children have an obligation to take care of them, of course, there is no denial of it. There is this argument that unlike UK and Europe, in India we take care of parents and don’t abandon them in old age homes. But they leave them in such homes for better care and attention, with the promise of the occasional visit. Unlike Indians, children don’t overexploit their parents, and parents don’t let their kids do that.
The real reason most urban Indians still live with their parents is not that of love but of economic dependence, security and comfort. Of course, the convenience of comfort. Many people prefer to live with their parents as long as they are comparatively healthy and are able to fulfil their needs. After that, the kids abandon them in old age homes. The excuses are familiar; had to focus on my career, my marriage, my children’s education, then Indian cultural values don’t come into place.
Indian parents spend a quarter of their life raising their children, provide education and get them married. This makes their life entirely focused around their children, with no passion, activities or spiritual well-being. When children move out, they are left with no clue to pursue anything else but emptiness feeling. This happens because children don’t move out and give them the space to explore their own interests.
Living with parents shows that nothing more than your inability to grow as an adult.
Indian girls have to go through the additional hassles of making their husband’s parents happy, take care of them, and take time to go out for work. The occasional meetup gathering and get together is fine and essential but clinging to the family is absurd to me. Indians should start living on their own, which has nothing to do with loving or not loving your parents.
Love thrives on freedom, and free birds chirp the brightest!