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The Forced Silence Around Sex And What It Does To Marriages In India

Sex is a subject which is still a taboo in our society. We refrain from talking about sex and that a huge reason why sex-related crime in our country is increasing.

When we talk about divorce, we often blame the ‘independent working woman’ and the newly found financial freedom, which in turn has made them intolerant towards the traditional family system. Being a lawyer who has worked in the field of women’s rights, I can tell you that in many cases of divorce and domestic violence, lack of sex education plays a vital role.

The problem with our society is that we treat sex and masturbation as a forbidden subject. As children or teenagers do not receive information from the right source, they tend to research and rely on mostly the wrong sources. Secondly, the talk of sex arises only when one has to have children. So the bottom line is, sex is a procedure only for the purpose of reproduction. Here are a few facts, that one needs to get right about sex in general:

  1. The only purpose of sex is not reproduction, it is a normal natural desire, just like hunger for food and thirst.
  2. Talking about sex with your partner is a normal conversation, you do not have to feel shy about your fears and feelings. Many times, women are scared of intercourse and, therefore, refuse to have sex or look out for excuses. They refuse to discuss their pain with their partners or any other person.
  3. In order to avoid loneliness (emotions are also connected with sex, which is completely normal), the couple, then often engages in a casual relationship or a fling with someone at the workplace, which results into an extramarital affair or divorce or an open relationship.
  4. Sex needs consent – an aspect that we are not taught at all. Thus, a few relationships end up with marital rape and therefore, cases of domestic violence arise in our society.
  5. The purpose of sex is just not to reproduce, but to emotionally bond with a person. Many people often use emotions for sex and sex for emotions.
  6. When talking about sex education, it is important that the syllabus also includes topics such as the LGBT community. Many LGBTQ identifying people are often pressurised into a heterosexual marriage which puts them in a very difficult position and causes mental trauma. Both partners suffer in this case.
  7. Your sexual capabilities and desires change with age and priorities.
  8. Women also have sexual desires and it is perfectly normal to talk about it. Just because you are a woman does not mean that you have to hide your desires.

I know after writing this, people may call me names, but I am cool with. Somebody has to talk about this, as it is the need of time.

Please do let me know what you think about the same.

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