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‘Yes, I Did Not Cry At My Sister’s Wedding’

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Indu and Vinoda are two loving sisters living in a small town of Karnataka. The two sisters ae very attached to each other.

Indu is 26 years old, a year older than her younger sister. Indu is very loving and caring towards Vinoda, she is the best elder sister but Indu is a sensitive girl. On the other hand, Vinoda is a very practical girl. She is very bold enough to put her views across anyone.

Being the elder one, Indu had to get married before her younger sister. So here came the much-awaited wedding day on December 17, 2016. Vinoda was very happy as her sister had found the love of her life and Indu was happy for her wedding day, she had always dreamt of it.

All her friends and relatives were very excited, laughter knew no boundaries, each and everyone was happy. Indu’s marriage got solemnised according to Hindu rituals and ceremonies, all were happy and were feeling sad as she will be leaving.

Meanwhile, all the guests and other things were managed by her younger sister Vinoda very systematically.

Soon, the time arrived where Indu and her new family were about to leave. The sad part of every wedding arrived where a daughter leaves her matrimonial home, her parents and sister. Indu met her parents, hugged them and they all cried a lot. She met all her relatives who too had tears in their eyes. They were happy but feeling sad as Indu is going far from them.

Finally, Indu hugged her younger sister and cried a lot. Vinoda hugged her sister back, she was in pain but she did not cry. Instead, she gave her best wishes for her new life with a smile and Indu left for her matrimonial home with her new family. Vinoda and her family with their relatives returned back to their home.

Soon the discussion started amongst their relatives. They started saying that the wedding was good, Indu and her hubby make a good couple and Indu was really looking very beautiful. The whole discussion was interrupted by Vinoda’s Masi (aunt). She called out Vinoda and said, “Hey, Vinoda your elder sister was going away from you and you did not cry?”

Vinoda: “Yes Maasi, I did not cry.”

Maasi: “But I thought you would cry the most.”

Vinoda: “No Maasi, nothing like that.”

Soon, they were interrupted by another aunt.

Aunt: “Didn’t you feel pain as your sister was going far away from you?”

Vinoda: “Yes, Aunty. I did feel the pain.”

Aunt: “Then why didn’t you cry? It didn’t seem by your face that you felt the pain.”

Vinoda: “Yes Aunty, yes maasi, I did not cry at my sister’s wedding. Does it mean that shedding tears or crying only is the way of expressing feelings or pain? Some people like me don’t feel so. Yes, you all cried when Indu was leaving for her matrimonial home. I am practical and did not cry but that doesn’t mean I don’t have emotions. It doesn’t mean that I don’t value feelings. My sister knows how much I love her and I don’t have to cry to show her that. I am not emotionless. Please do not mistake me being emotionally strong as emotionless. I have just mastered the art of controlling my tears.

My bond with her is forever. Her marriage will never end my relation with her. Yes, she is married and is a part of a new family but she was my sister, she is my sister and she will always be my sister. She has just started a new life, one which she always dreamt of and I am more than happy to see her dreams coming true and this thought brings only smile on my face . Our way of expressing feelings are different but feelings are same.”

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As a Youth Ki Awaaz Menstrual Health Fellow, Nitisha has started Let’s Talk Period, a campaign to mobilise young people to switch to sustainable period products. She says, “80 lakh women in Delhi use non-biodegradable sanitary products, generate 3000 tonnes of menstrual waste, that takes 500-800 years to decompose; which in turn contributes to the health issues of all menstruators, increased burden of waste management on the city and harmful living environment for all citizens.

Let’s Talk Period aims to change this by

Find out more about her campaign here.

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A former Assistant Secretary with the Ministry of Women and Child Development in West Bengal for three months, Lakshmi Bhavya has been championing the cause of menstrual hygiene in her district. By associating herself with the Lalana Campaign, a holistic menstrual hygiene awareness campaign which is conducted by the Anahat NGO, Lakshmi has been slowly breaking taboos when it comes to periods and menstrual hygiene.

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