Chapter-1
PARIS
“They are bitter but they are true You can keep them inside but somehow they’ll find a way to shine You say they are eating you alive maybe it’s because you keeping them hide When u let them go they’ll set u free maybe it will be easy when u see what impact they will have When u let go the words u keep”
I like playing with the words, I like the fact that when you begin you don’t know with what you will end up with. I like how something written on a piece of paper can be a masterpiece or a piece of paper that’s been thrown out to the trash basket. Sometimes not knowing is good.
I started writing poetry about a month or two ago when I watched Puma Do You series there was a group of people sharing their written poetry, saying it passiontly. It was deep, deep to understand. That’s when I started writing ,at first I was writing trash but when I connected the words with my feelings somehow the end result came was something that I never thought that I could write. Anyone can write that’s what I think as anyone have thoughts and feelings, I think all u need to do is to connect some unknown person to words then is when the magic starts(I don’t believe in magic though but in miracles,I think miracle is just like magics not that I’ve come to see any but I’ve heard about it from people, well it must be something)
Talking about thoughts how weird they can be right? Hard to handle and impossible to manage. Our brain is full of it,they come and go wheather we like it or not and sometimes they don’t go. They just stay,they move with you whenever you move, wherever you go,you can’t ignore it nor can you throw them away somewhere,a place where they won’t come back,they just sticks with you. Our mind is full of feelings and thoughts just like a box full of chocolates however a box full of chocolates can make anyone happier but a box full of thoughts and feelings don’t. And somehow people start labeling the persons who suffer from such thoughts and feelings they call it depression, sometimes anxiety or even worse they call them mental. What they don’t know is that it’s not a disease. If something is cannot be described then it doesn’t mean you have to put your label to it so that it could be easy to explain to others. And it’s also not important that everything needs to be described.
Theyare just feelings that anyone can feel and the persons who feels them are not different then us who don’t but I guess we’ll be lying to ourselves if we say we don’t get these kind of thoughts because I believe in some way or another we all get them,whether someone admits it or not.
By the way my name is Paris and I’m 18 years old. You might me wondering why my name is named after a city however no my name is not named after a city I named my own self. Because I liked it though I never been to Paris but I like the way it sounds and I would like to visit someday.
So who am I? Well I’m just a normal person like you, yes just like you I have two eyes,one face,two legs and a brain and a one heart see I’m just like you….wait a second but..see there’s a but in every story so what makes me different is that I think different,by the way just so you know I don’t have any labels like the above mentioned as no one has labelled me yet except myself. You might say why would I label my own self, i did so that I could know that I’m different, different from the crowd because I choose not to be like everybody else. Wanna know what I label myself well I just call that “just labelled myself” because I don’t know what should I call myself I mean I say to myself that I don’t want to be same like rest of the world but I still have to figure it out at what point I want myself to be different than rest of you. There are many things I have like for the fact I don’t judge even when I want to but I just don’t, I’m caring,a lot of caring and I might be the most caring and loving person you’ll ever meet but see here’s the weird part I still don’t have any friend and honestly I don’t know why. So yea being nice sucks.
But at some point I think ..maybe there might be a same person just as me I mean come on a world cannot be full of mean and loveless people, I’m sure there are some pretty nice folks out there.
So you see that makes me different and also not different from rest of the world that’s why I’m searching.. not on Google of course but inside and outside to know what makes me different. Just so you know my book is not titled as ‘trying to find myself’ in case you’re wondering. So yea that’s pretty much of me, unfiltered, undecorated,truly me and myself.