This is for all those people who have entered high school, who have passed high school or are currently, in high school.
One thing that I’ve learned in high school is that it is the most stressful period of your life. This is the time you either break or make your career. The decisions you make affect your tomorrow. The people you spend time with help you turn into the person you become. In high school, you undergo a lot of changes, a lot of emotional, physical, mental, educational and social changes. You make new friends, your focus is different, your priorities are different. You get into relationships (or maybe not). But this is the phase which affects you for a long period of time. People don’t usually forget what happens in high school. And many years later, if you meet your friends, it’s likely that they will call you by the nickname they gave you.
What happens in high school?
You tend to get overwhelmed with almost everything you do. This is the time where you are the ‘seniors’ of the school, and you basically know how the school functions. You’re the role model to your juniors. You’re the one who knows the teachers the best. You know almost everyone on the working staff. You know how to talk your way out of situations. Some of you are even teacher’s pets.
But this article is not for all those people who never bothered to indulge in gossip. This article is for those who listen to the gossip, passed it on, ruined someone’s life. This article is also for those who were bullied. This article is for those who’ve perhaps been through a bad phase of high school. This article is for all those people who thought that high school is not ‘their thing.’ And most importantly, this article is for all those people who were those bullies, who spread rumours, who tried to pull other people down, and who tried to make life “miserable” for others.
What are these bad phases? And why do they affect our lives so much?
These bad phases are emotionally draining, mentally challenging, physically tiring and socially unacceptable. Ever been one of those people who landed up in an unpleasant situation just because you decided to be nice? Being nice can land you up in unpleasant situations. Believe me when I say it because I’ve seen it all.
Are you nice to creepy stalkers? Are you nice to those who talk rudely to you? Are you nice to those who gossip stuff to you or about you? Being nice is actually pretty good unless it puts you in a situation where you feel like killing yourself. Yes, I’m talking about those phases where you’re too nice to people who try and approach you.
Been there? Many of us have. And if you’ve not, congratulations, you’ve saved yourself from one heck of a misery in high school. Don’t worry, there must be something you could relate to, later.
I have seen many people who are nice to other people. One thing I would like to state is that there is a difference between being nice and flirting. Do not think people who are being nice to you are flirting with you.
Flirting is when a person is interested in you and shows signs that they are interested in you. People who are nice are just being polite.
1. If you are a guy who approached a girl because she’s pretty or because you like her (Oh! You like her because she flirted with you, she may have been polite, but you don’t know the difference) understand, that she may, or may not be interested in you. Just because she is a good friend of yours doesn’t mean she wants to get into a relationship with you. One thing you must learn is that consent is key. You are supposed to know your boundaries. You are supposed to know when to stop. It is NOT the duty of the girl to remind you that there is a line which you are not supposed to cross.
2. If she rejects you, do not chase her. Think to yourself, that she is not your cup of tea or she is not worth going after. She may be polite to you even after she rejects you, but understand that she does not entertain any kind of stupid thoughts you might have in your mind. Be a man and accept the fact that she doesn’t like you and move on with your life. Do not aspire to ruin her life because of your ego. If she really liked you, she would have told you. Do not start spreading rumours that you did “stuff” with her just because she rejected you, and ruin her reputation.
3. If you hear a rumour about someone, go and ask them first. Ask them if it is true or not. Do not go on to spread false tales to your group of friends because it is new, because it is spicy. When you talk to that person and they deny the rumour, believe them and move on with your life. You have better things to do than to be a part of something which completely destroys someone.
4. Hookups aren’t an issue unless falsely stated. Do not start linking people just because they talk to each other. Open your mind, give it air to breathe and realise that this is not how things work. This is not what you are supposed to do.
5. For those ‘toppers’ who have heard a lot of abuses from your classmates about how teachers discriminate against you, remember, it’s not your fault. You are good, and you’re still trying to be the best version of yourself.
6. So there was this recent show on Netflix called “13 Reasons Why”, and this show depicted exactly what happens in high school. Some of you sympathising with the lead character Hannah Baker around whom the story of this show is written, are perhaps also the ones who are just like those people who are responsible for Hannah’s death.
What most of you think is fine, what most of you think is funny, all your senseless gossip is the reason behind a series of sleepless nights for a victim.
7. Your friend circle still defines who you are. Being the ‘beautiful white dove’ in a flock of ‘crows’ will make no difference to the world outside, because you hang out with them, so choose your circle wisely. It’s easy to figure out if you’re in the right circle or not:
• If your circle helps you grow.
• If your circle talks about the same kind of stuff, you talk about.
• If your ideas match.
• If the world doesn’t bother you.
• If they stick with you during difficult times.
• If they are there with you for who you are and not because of what you have.
• If they are happy to see your growth instead of abusing you for leaving them behind.
• If they constantly motivate you to do better.
In case you are a victim of bullying, I would suggest you talk to elders about it, not necessarily your parents, just trusted elders. Don’t talk to your peers about your problems unless you are completely sure that they will hear you out without revealing to the world about your problems.
Your high school phase can decide a lot about your future, so make sure that instead of regretting it, you make the right decision. Instead of engaging in senseless gossip, engage in fruitful conversations. Instead of getting involved in fights, get involved in healthy competitions. This is the age to make the right choice and this choice will lead you to a beautiful road in the future.