Being a talkative girl means that people automatically take you to be an extrovert. But, that is not always the case.
I often found it (and to a major extent, still, find it) difficult to engage and be a part of a group conversation. I believe it is the start that matters, but once I get in, there is no stopping me. I think I am more of an ambivert and, somehow, I managed to use this characteristic of mine to pursue a career in law. Sounds bizarre, but that’s true! An ambivert chooses their crowd and takes time to fit in. Being an ambivert was also what made me more observant and well aware of my surroundings. This definitely helped me work through my course.
Right from the 8th standard, I was very clear that I wanted to pursue a career in law. One of the reasons being, I could use this talkative nature and put it to good use but this was a very superficial reason. I always wanted to help women and children. With the increasing crimes, I felt it was my responsibility in some way to contribute towards the needs of the society.
The 10th standard is a major milestone in the life of any student. It is also the decision-making year, not just for the student themselves but, for the family too. Pursuing a career in law meant opting for Humanities because that acts as a good base for the further course. But, like other Indian families having their daughters pursue law, I was not encouraged to pursue Humanities because, well, practicality! Choosing Humanities would have been directly proportional in reducing options in other careers drastically. I hated Math and Physics, so there was no way I was going to pursue Science. After weighing the pros and cons, I took the next best option, Commerce. Contrary to popular belief, for me, studying commerce had its benefits in building that base before I enrolled myself for a BA LLB (Bachelors of Arts and Bachelors of Law).
I can sum up my time in college from the day of admissions until now in one line: it has been a continuous fight with the education system in our country. That is, probably, the one thing that will continue even after I am done with my course. The dearth of good and qualified teachers has cost us our education system. The role of educators is to educate, but that has been taken for granted and that inevitably leads us students to suffer. I need to be exposed to animated discussions where my horizons would be pushed with each class, and I could be among people who’ll make me question my opinions and compel me to think about theirs, but that has somehow never happened.
However, what I learned to teach myself. It’s been three years since I made the choice to pursue my course in this particular university, and it has been a bumpy ride throughout.
Law is not, ideally, considered an honest profession. I would thank the people in this system who have made it that way. So, naturally, my extended family opposed my pursuing a career in this field. This was my initial struggle. Once college started, like every other student, I struggled to fit in, finding my people, adjusting to the atmosphere. A major struggle, however, was also adjusting to the general lax attitude of the faculty.
But, if I step out of my shoes for a minute and retrospect, I find that, somewhere in these three years, I seemed to have forgotten that 8th standard girl’s passion. I often find myself questioning why I chose this field; whether it is worth the money, time and effort, whether I even want to get into this system. It has been a battle with the system, and for the system, ever since I started. Each day, while I read or study new laws, I realise that it’s not the shortage of laws or even lawmakers, but, the lack of effective implementation that is the problem. That bridge between theory and practice is far from being built.
Keeping all the politics and the messy system aside, I’ve realised that there’s another side to it. I’ve also grown to understand that just focusing on the problem is not enough. Now that I know what the problem is, the next step is to see what I can do about the problem. Building that bridge between theory and practice can only be done if I have the passion to work in my own country and help clean up the mess. We often just leave, after criticising our own country and most of us want a comfortable life in another developed country. But, if we all want to leave our country, who will stay back to clear that mess? So, ensuring that I stand my ground in this corrupt system is the first step that I have decided to take. This is exactly where I hope to see myself in five years; a place where I will stand my ground despite all the opposition. It’s not just about my position or company or firm.
Most students struggle to find their passion, but I don’t think that is the only problem. The real struggle is dealing with the disappointments that we never accounted for while pursuing our passion. My rendezvous with law, has not been a pleasant one, but it continues to be a journey that will always be very dear and personal to me, for it exposed me to various nuances of this field, and what stayed is the determination to work with the society, for the society and bring about a change.