This post has been self-published on Youth Ki Awaaz by Aishwarya Sandeep. Just like them, anyone can publish on Youth Ki Awaaz.

Women’s safety – how a troll changed my view point

More from Aishwarya Sandeep

The moment the  Thompson Reuters report was out, there was a huge discussion across the Media on the authenticity of the report. Different people had different reactions to the report. While a handful admitted, it to be true, most of them dismissed it as a publicity stunt to defame India and quoted it as a biased report. Agreed that the sample size was less, they had considered only lesser number of experts in the field, but still there India cannot top in Crime against Women. The National Commission for Women rejected the report. So a gentleman, who is a Men’s Right Activist (MRA), whom I used to follow, Tweeted “NCW is right in rejecting the report, India is unsafe for men and not women.”.

Crime against women is a sensitive issue, which either ways our politicians and media do not handle in sensitive manner. It pinches, when I hear people taking crime against women in an insensitive way. I lost my temper and in an impulse told him to dressup like a girl in public and just pass through a crowded place in a city without being groped. That evoked series of reaction, from cursing to criticizing me for being a woman. It was almost like, the moment they see a woman in front of  them, if they are armed they can kill her. Some of those tweets were a real eye openers as they expressed about how low Indian Men still consider women to be.

A few tweets were obviously, describing women as gold diggers. Their hatred towards me was double, because I was not only a woman who asked them a question, but also a lawyer. Right from the law to the Existence of women everything was criticised. While I admit, the laws in India pertaining to safety for men are less and theses men had been victims of Domestic Violence or Fake Cases as they claim (Wherein just reading their tweets, I blessed their wives for they escaped such narrow minded demons). One thing, I simultaneously admit, that Men have more unity than we women, none of  those men, reveled any of their personal details of what exactly went wrong even despite asking them repeatedly. I even shared my email id with them asking them for the statistics as a couple of them claimed to be running helpline and NGO’s but they were determined not to share it with me because probably I am a woman.

The most hilarious part was the swearing and the cursing. If you ever felt that till date only your K Serial writers wrote amazing script and out of the world dialogues, the curses that these men showered upon me, were amazing. They claim to be gentlemen but did not shy to curse me to the same fate as them.

The problem in India is gender sensitivity. The problem is we taught our girls to be strong but we failed how to teach our men to handle strong girls. It is the failure of this major gap that has caused this increased hatred amongst both the genders. It is true that Men’s issues need to be addressed but another person will understand their problem only if they address it with politeness. Forcefulness will only make others back out. The debate was mainly  about the law and how women are misusing the law to put fake cases to extort money. After several tweets, I realised that the problem will not stop here, if this hatred continues, it will be an end to the family system.

Patriarchy has done equal damage to both men and women, today if a man asks for his rights, we consider them weak and cranky. Mental Health is an ignored aspect of our society and empathy is a skill that we have lost ages ago. So in order to maintain the harmony of gender equality, here are a few steps that we as a society and the government.

  1. Teach our sons,it is ok to cry. If your son has a problem talk to him. “Mard ko Dard nahi hota”. Is real crap, we need to nourish and cherish our boys also;
  2. Teach our daughters, that Men are not machines, they also have emotions, which are genuine, men do expect more from you, apart from sex;
  3. As a society, increase one to one communication, with technology, we have forgotten, what real interactions mean, keep a no cell phone rule and everyone as a family, share 10 mins of what happened during your day. When you come to know how a parent’s day was, they will not crib about the absence of their parents, if children express how their  day was, then parents will know that they are a part of their children’s lives;
  4. Respect each other’s choices and give them equal space, if a woman wants to pursue her career support  her, if a man wants to stay at home or have his own start up, help them;
  5. Our education system needs to change, skill sets need to be taught to children irrespective of their gender, Cooking and sports should be an option available to both the genders. Gender sensitivity is something that needs to be taught at home;
  6. For development of any nation, it is important that the family life of its citizens is more peaceful;
  7. Today’s generation has become more aggressive than the previous generation because of its FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), YOLO (You Live Only Once) attitude, both boys, girls, men and women do not want to loose the momentum and simple adjustments required in a marriage seem like a big hurdle to couples;
  8. Stop telling your daughter’s stories about how you were suppressed, this will only make her more aggressive, stop telling your son that a woman is meant to only take care of his needs and the needs of his house;
  9. Stop telling your daughters stories that every man is bad, tell her to check people by their qualitity and not gender, tell your son, that his duty does not end in providing only money, it extends beyond money

 

 

Youth Ki Awaaz is an open platform where anybody can publish. This post does not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions.

You must be to comment.

More from Aishwarya Sandeep

Similar Posts

By Prabhanu Kumar Das

By shakeel ahmad

By Geetika Gaurav

Wondering what to write about?

Here are some topics to get you started

Share your details to download the report.









We promise not to spam or send irrelevant information.

Share your details to download the report.









We promise not to spam or send irrelevant information.

An ambassador and trained facilitator under Eco Femme (a social enterprise working towards menstrual health in south India), Sanjina is also an active member of the MHM Collective- India and Menstrual Health Alliance- India. She has conducted Menstrual Health sessions in multiple government schools adopted by Rotary District 3240 as part of their WinS project in rural Bengal. She has also delivered training of trainers on SRHR, gender, sexuality and Menstruation for Tomorrow’s Foundation, Vikramshila Education Resource Society, Nirdhan trust and Micro Finance, Tollygunj Women In Need, Paint It Red in Kolkata.

Now as an MH Fellow with YKA, she’s expanding her impressive scope of work further by launching a campaign to facilitate the process of ensuring better menstrual health and SRH services for women residing in correctional homes in West Bengal. The campaign will entail an independent study to take stalk of the present conditions of MHM in correctional homes across the state and use its findings to build public support and political will to take the necessary action.

Saurabh has been associated with YKA as a user and has consistently been writing on the issue MHM and its intersectionality with other issues in the society. Now as an MHM Fellow with YKA, he’s launched the Right to Period campaign, which aims to ensure proper execution of MHM guidelines in Delhi’s schools.

The long-term aim of the campaign is to develop an open culture where menstruation is not treated as a taboo. The campaign also seeks to hold the schools accountable for their responsibilities as an important component in the implementation of MHM policies by making adequate sanitation infrastructure and knowledge of MHM available in school premises.

Read more about his campaign.

Harshita is a psychologist and works to support people with mental health issues, particularly adolescents who are survivors of violence. Associated with the Azadi Foundation in UP, Harshita became an MHM Fellow with YKA, with the aim of promoting better menstrual health.

Her campaign #MeriMarzi aims to promote menstrual health and wellness, hygiene and facilities for female sex workers in UP. She says, “Knowledge about natural body processes is a very basic human right. And for individuals whose occupation is providing sexual services, it becomes even more important.”

Meri Marzi aims to ensure sensitised, non-discriminatory health workers for the needs of female sex workers in the Suraksha Clinics under the UPSACS (Uttar Pradesh State AIDS Control Society) program by creating more dialogues and garnering public support for the cause of sex workers’ menstrual rights. The campaign will also ensure interventions with sex workers to clear misconceptions around overall hygiene management to ensure that results flow both ways.

Read more about her campaign.

MH Fellow Sabna comes with significant experience working with a range of development issues. A co-founder of Project Sakhi Saheli, which aims to combat period poverty and break menstrual taboos, Sabna has, in the past, worked on the issue of menstruation in urban slums of Delhi with women and adolescent girls. She and her team also released MenstraBook, with menstrastories and organised Menstra Tlk in the Delhi School of Social Work to create more conversations on menstruation.

With YKA MHM Fellow Vineet, Sabna launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society. As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Read more about her campaign. 

A student from Delhi School of Social work, Vineet is a part of Project Sakhi Saheli, an initiative by the students of Delhi school of Social Work to create awareness on Menstrual Health and combat Period Poverty. Along with MHM Action Fellow Sabna, Vineet launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society.

As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Find out more about the campaign here.

A native of Bhagalpur district – Bihar, Shalini Jha believes in equal rights for all genders and wants to work for a gender-equal and just society. In the past she’s had a year-long association as a community leader with Haiyya: Organise for Action’s Health Over Stigma campaign. She’s pursuing a Master’s in Literature with Ambedkar University, Delhi and as an MHM Fellow with YKA, recently launched ‘Project अल्हड़ (Alharh)’.

She says, “Bihar is ranked the lowest in India’s SDG Index 2019 for India. Hygienic and comfortable menstruation is a basic human right and sustainable development cannot be ensured if menstruators are deprived of their basic rights.” Project अल्हड़ (Alharh) aims to create a robust sensitised community in Bhagalpur to collectively spread awareness, break the taboo, debunk myths and initiate fearless conversations around menstruation. The campaign aims to reach at least 6000 adolescent girls from government and private schools in Baghalpur district in 2020.

Read more about the campaign here.

A psychologist and co-founder of a mental health NGO called Customize Cognition, Ritika forayed into the space of menstrual health and hygiene, sexual and reproductive healthcare and rights and gender equality as an MHM Fellow with YKA. She says, “The experience of working on MHM/SRHR and gender equality has been an enriching and eye-opening experience. I have learned what’s beneath the surface of the issue, be it awareness, lack of resources or disregard for trans men, who also menstruate.”

The Transmen-ses campaign aims to tackle the issue of silence and disregard for trans men’s menstruation needs, by mobilising gender sensitive health professionals and gender neutral restrooms in Lucknow.

Read more about the campaign here.

A Computer Science engineer by education, Nitisha started her career in the corporate sector, before realising she wanted to work in the development and social justice space. Since then, she has worked with Teach For India and Care India and is from the founding batch of Indian School of Development Management (ISDM), a one of its kind organisation creating leaders for the development sector through its experiential learning post graduate program.

As a Youth Ki Awaaz Menstrual Health Fellow, Nitisha has started Let’s Talk Period, a campaign to mobilise young people to switch to sustainable period products. She says, “80 lakh women in Delhi use non-biodegradable sanitary products, generate 3000 tonnes of menstrual waste, that takes 500-800 years to decompose; which in turn contributes to the health issues of all menstruators, increased burden of waste management on the city and harmful living environment for all citizens.

Let’s Talk Period aims to change this by

Find out more about her campaign here.

Share your details to download the report.









We promise not to spam or send irrelevant information.

A former Assistant Secretary with the Ministry of Women and Child Development in West Bengal for three months, Lakshmi Bhavya has been championing the cause of menstrual hygiene in her district. By associating herself with the Lalana Campaign, a holistic menstrual hygiene awareness campaign which is conducted by the Anahat NGO, Lakshmi has been slowly breaking taboos when it comes to periods and menstrual hygiene.

A Gender Rights Activist working with the tribal and marginalized communities in india, Srilekha is a PhD scholar working on understanding body and sexuality among tribal girls, to fill the gaps in research around indigenous women and their stories. Srilekha has worked extensively at the grassroots level with community based organisations, through several advocacy initiatives around Gender, Mental Health, Menstrual Hygiene and Sexual and Reproductive Health Rights (SRHR) for the indigenous in Jharkhand, over the last 6 years.

Srilekha has also contributed to sustainable livelihood projects and legal aid programs for survivors of sex trafficking. She has been conducting research based programs on maternal health, mental health, gender based violence, sex and sexuality. Her interest lies in conducting workshops for young people on life skills, feminism, gender and sexuality, trauma, resilience and interpersonal relationships.

A Guwahati-based college student pursuing her Masters in Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Bidisha started the #BleedwithDignity campaign on the technology platform Change.org, demanding that the Government of Assam install
biodegradable sanitary pad vending machines in all government schools across the state. Her petition on Change.org has already gathered support from over 90000 people and continues to grow.

Bidisha was selected in Change.org’s flagship program ‘She Creates Change’ having run successful online advocacy
campaigns, which were widely recognised. Through the #BleedwithDignity campaign; she organised and celebrated World Menstrual Hygiene Day, 2019 in Guwahati, Assam by hosting a wall mural by collaborating with local organisations. The initiative was widely covered by national and local media, and the mural was later inaugurated by the event’s chief guest Commissioner of Guwahati Municipal Corporation (GMC) Debeswar Malakar, IAS.

Sign up for the Youth Ki Awaaz Prime Ministerial Brief below