I’ve been a college student for the past three years and let me tell you, it was not at all how I imagined it’d be.
There I was, dewy-eyed and filled with dreams on the first day of college – only to be disappointed on discovering that whatever I’d dreamed about college life was just that – silly dreams. And I blame you Bollywood!
You broke my heart by showing me the glitzy, glamorous and, looking back, a highly fictional college Duniya.
So, I’m going to list out all the ways how Bollywood got college life wrong:
Did you know, not all colleges let you wear whatever you want to college! Those shopping sprees to look like Alia in “2 States” – wasted. Now I go to college wearing a very “prim and proper uniform”, in white and grey for godsakes! #sadreality
I remember watching movies like “Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar”, where Ayesha Jhulka played Anjali – effortlessly carrying on the street-style looks which inspired a lot of casual fashion in the 90s.
Then there’s “Kuch Kuch Hota Hai” – Rani Mukherji as Tina and Kajol as Anjali made looking fashionable easy. Since I grew up watching these movies, I had a very different idea of what college fashion would be like. Cue real life and here I am, cursing Bollywood for unfulfilled dreams!
I mean come on, it’s the least that you could’ve gotten right; considering the movie is on college life. Every single Bollywood college movie has more of the fun stuff we apparently do in college, but FYI, it’s not real!
Remember how in “2 States”, college life is filled with all kinds of celebrations, from holi to the new year to what-not. Sure, we celebrate at my college too, but there’s a catch. You get the celebrations done by 5 pm and go home to do this thing called “study”.
In my experience, in college, there’ll be assignments, projects, seminars, 101 ways in which teachers will pester you, making you question your decision to pursue higher studies. Special mention to all the B.Tech students: you take on around 56 papers in four years and do what we engineers do best – survive!
One of the very few movies that showcased a student’s struggle was “3 Idiots”. Ah-mazing… nothing whatsoever to add. Hats off, Rajkumar Hirani sir!
Okay, I’ll confess: my campus has seen a LOT of love stories, just like any other college campus I’d imagine. The main difference is Bollywood romanticised so much of it.
In reality, a date is something you go to when you’re in the middle of completing a hectic lab cycle and have to grab some lunch. Yup, you’re that busy! Movie dates have become moot since all of your friends tag along to see it. *facepalm*
Another fact to ponder – why are all the colleges (especially engineering colleges) situated in the middle of nowhere, even though you want to bunk classes, you end up in the library, washroom or the canteen. *sigh*
Need I remind you how Rahul proposed to Tina in “KKHH”? How cute and totally unrealistic it was!
But that’s not the worst of it. Remember that 3.5-hour long musical movie “Mohabbatein”? Granted, it’s my all-time favourite (yeah, you can laugh at how I’m an incurable romantic) but it’s crazy how every other dialogue had a song to boot up, along with dancers who are frighteningly in synch the whole time. Huh!?
More than the songs, three of the most adorable on-screen proposals were in “Mohabbatein”. Obviously, no guy would do that in reality, so you’re left with only the Bollywood scenes to wish upon!
I know I’ve been referring to “Kuch Kuch Hota Hai” a lot, but how can I not! Remember the English teacher Ms Briganza and the principal Mr Malhotra? I’m not even going to say more on those two!
On the same note, remember Ms Chandni played by the beautiful Sushmita Sen in “Main Hoon Na”? Holy hell was she gorgeous! No wonder SRK fell for her.
Bollywood, let me tell you how it is in real life. We NEVER get such pretty teachers in college. If that happened, our attendance would be way better than it is now, for sure.
Chalo, maybe there are chances you get lady teachers like Sushmita, but it’s almost impossible to find a cute male teacher. Woes of a college-going girl, I tell you. Even if we do find good-looking teachers, they’re not nearly as nice as those in Bollywood. They cut marks, scold us, and generally ignore us. Really, teachers are more close to characters like Prof. Rasai in “Main Hoon Na” or Dr Viru Sahasrabuddhe in “3 Idiots”.
But at the same time, a huge shout-out to all the wonderful teachers out there. Your grumpiness is endearing. We wouldn’t have you any other way!
I feel it’s important to conclude on this note. Bollywood may have made friendships larger than life, but on that point, I must say I agree.
Anyone would be lucky to have friends like Raju Rastogi and Farhan Qureshi in “3 Idiots”. Same way, who can forget the love between the childhood friends Akash, Sameer and Sid from “Dil Chahta Hai”!
And even though “Mohabbatein” was highly OTT, the three friends Karan, Sameer and Vicky were pretty great!
Let me end by saying one thing:
I may not have had the larger than life experience in college, but I wouldn’t change my college life for anything, mainly because the struggles, stress, the fun and most importantly the friendships are so much more than I imagined.
Thank you, Bollywood, for the reality check!
Love, a crazy fan of yours who watches all the cheesy movies you make!