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What It Feels Like To Be In Love With A Haryanvi Guy

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He’s too hot and too cold to handle at the same time. His hotness melts you inside-out and his cold attitude towards everything will shake you from within.

His tenderness will make you feel loved and wanted. Once he falls for you seriously, there will be no one who can love you more than him.

His courageous nature will give you a sense of security all the time. His walking style shows you his command over the world.

His short temper will bring you face-to-face with many situations where you will see him shouting at others, abusing freely, and unnecessarily turning a normal conversation into a fight. Later, he will give you an explanation like, “Jaat hoon, nahi hota control (I am a Jaat, I can’t control myself).” Even though you’ll eventually get used to it, the goosebumps you get on each such incident will never vanish.

You will fall in love with his native language. It may sound pretty disrespectful to you in the beginning, but you will soon start enjoying it. The way he’ll give you names and say those favourite lines, you will have no reaction left than a smile.

Gradually, you will notice him surrounded by his so-called good friends, whom you don’t like at all. They will endlessly try to ruin him in numerous ways – encourage him to loiter, smoke, drink or flirt with other women. No matter how hard you try, you’ll fail several times in trying to make him a decent guy.

He will find you dominating, stubborn and arrogant. He’ll claim that you initiate all the fights that happen between you two. Give him time, he’ll contradict his words later on.

He will soon try adapting to you, he will start controlling his anger, and become that sweetheart you always wanted. He will try giving up toxic friendships and habits. But don’t forget that some things will always be the same. Like he says, “Jaat hoon, ye ni chootega (I am a Jaat, I can’t leave this).”

As soon as you realise that everything is going on in your favour, be prepared. You’re heading towards an explosive event. You see, they’re full of unexpected things and are one of the most unpredictable personalities ever. It’ll feel like a roller coaster ride of a lifetime. You’ll witness yourself laughing, smiling, crying, begging, shouting, upset, all at the same time. They’ll hurt you with their words and will later use words coated with sugar and dipped in honey once they realise that they hurt you. He’ll be your mood swinger for sure.

They are pretty good liars and can be very secretive. They also get irritated very fast but calm down faster. They cry as much as they laugh but only when they get too emotional, which will be the rarest of rare cases.

Being with them, you will see many changes in yourself too. You’ll become more patient, more down-to-earth, more caring. You’ll learn to enjoy life, learn to sing and dance with them, learn to be carefree, learn to laugh and smile often, learn to forgive the biggest mistakes. You’ll discover a new self with him.

Beware. Once you fall for them, you’ll lose control over yourself. Whether you plan to give up on him or he does, neither of you are going anywhere. They have the ability to hold on to you no matter how much you make up your mind to leave. You just can’t leave them. And they know it very well.

Yes, they are different, entirely different. But they are unique. You won’t find all these traits in anybody else except them. They’re really soft and delicate from the heart, don’t be judgemental of their outer harshness. Once they fall in love seriously, they fall really hard. Be with him and he’ll do anything and everything to keep you.

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  1. Anuradha

    Yup, as a bengali girl who once dated a Haryanvi guy, I know its the truth. They can also be a bit easy to anger and well I have been slapped a few times, but they are really apologetic afterwards. You cant stay mad at them.

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An ambassador and trained facilitator under Eco Femme (a social enterprise working towards menstrual health in south India), Sanjina is also an active member of the MHM Collective- India and Menstrual Health Alliance- India. She has conducted Menstrual Health sessions in multiple government schools adopted by Rotary District 3240 as part of their WinS project in rural Bengal. She has also delivered training of trainers on SRHR, gender, sexuality and Menstruation for Tomorrow’s Foundation, Vikramshila Education Resource Society, Nirdhan trust and Micro Finance, Tollygunj Women In Need, Paint It Red in Kolkata.

Now as an MH Fellow with YKA, she’s expanding her impressive scope of work further by launching a campaign to facilitate the process of ensuring better menstrual health and SRH services for women residing in correctional homes in West Bengal. The campaign will entail an independent study to take stalk of the present conditions of MHM in correctional homes across the state and use its findings to build public support and political will to take the necessary action.

Saurabh has been associated with YKA as a user and has consistently been writing on the issue MHM and its intersectionality with other issues in the society. Now as an MHM Fellow with YKA, he’s launched the Right to Period campaign, which aims to ensure proper execution of MHM guidelines in Delhi’s schools.

The long-term aim of the campaign is to develop an open culture where menstruation is not treated as a taboo. The campaign also seeks to hold the schools accountable for their responsibilities as an important component in the implementation of MHM policies by making adequate sanitation infrastructure and knowledge of MHM available in school premises.

Read more about his campaign.

Harshita is a psychologist and works to support people with mental health issues, particularly adolescents who are survivors of violence. Associated with the Azadi Foundation in UP, Harshita became an MHM Fellow with YKA, with the aim of promoting better menstrual health.

Her campaign #MeriMarzi aims to promote menstrual health and wellness, hygiene and facilities for female sex workers in UP. She says, “Knowledge about natural body processes is a very basic human right. And for individuals whose occupation is providing sexual services, it becomes even more important.”

Meri Marzi aims to ensure sensitised, non-discriminatory health workers for the needs of female sex workers in the Suraksha Clinics under the UPSACS (Uttar Pradesh State AIDS Control Society) program by creating more dialogues and garnering public support for the cause of sex workers’ menstrual rights. The campaign will also ensure interventions with sex workers to clear misconceptions around overall hygiene management to ensure that results flow both ways.

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MH Fellow Sabna comes with significant experience working with a range of development issues. A co-founder of Project Sakhi Saheli, which aims to combat period poverty and break menstrual taboos, Sabna has, in the past, worked on the issue of menstruation in urban slums of Delhi with women and adolescent girls. She and her team also released MenstraBook, with menstrastories and organised Menstra Tlk in the Delhi School of Social Work to create more conversations on menstruation.

With YKA MHM Fellow Vineet, Sabna launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society. As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

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A student from Delhi School of Social work, Vineet is a part of Project Sakhi Saheli, an initiative by the students of Delhi school of Social Work to create awareness on Menstrual Health and combat Period Poverty. Along with MHM Action Fellow Sabna, Vineet launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society.

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A Computer Science engineer by education, Nitisha started her career in the corporate sector, before realising she wanted to work in the development and social justice space. Since then, she has worked with Teach For India and Care India and is from the founding batch of Indian School of Development Management (ISDM), a one of its kind organisation creating leaders for the development sector through its experiential learning post graduate program.

As a Youth Ki Awaaz Menstrual Health Fellow, Nitisha has started Let’s Talk Period, a campaign to mobilise young people to switch to sustainable period products. She says, “80 lakh women in Delhi use non-biodegradable sanitary products, generate 3000 tonnes of menstrual waste, that takes 500-800 years to decompose; which in turn contributes to the health issues of all menstruators, increased burden of waste management on the city and harmful living environment for all citizens.

Let’s Talk Period aims to change this by

Find out more about her campaign here.

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A former Assistant Secretary with the Ministry of Women and Child Development in West Bengal for three months, Lakshmi Bhavya has been championing the cause of menstrual hygiene in her district. By associating herself with the Lalana Campaign, a holistic menstrual hygiene awareness campaign which is conducted by the Anahat NGO, Lakshmi has been slowly breaking taboos when it comes to periods and menstrual hygiene.

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Bidisha was selected in’s flagship program ‘She Creates Change’ having run successful online advocacy
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