There is a point of time in every person’s life when he/she wants to be free as a bird and explore the things beyond their reach. This thought especially strikes the mind of young college-going students, who are too excited to enter into the realm of excitement, surprises and a new way of looking at things. To be honest, I am one of them. I am still experiencing new things in college and when I look back at the first year of my survival in college, I feel surprised at myself. Let me share some experiences that I went through.
There was a mixture of feelings running through my mind on the first day of my college. The first day was a bang, most of the time was passed in admiring the campus, people and everything else around me. However, within a few days, there was a feeling of inferiority building inside me as few of my classmates had enormous knowledge and better understanding about things. Yes, this drawback of our Indian education system existed in me during the first few months. I often discouraged myself and repented choosing literature because I had little idea of what was going on in the class. I had taken up science stream in my higher studies, I felt demotivated and became sceptical about my abilities.
But this was not the only case, I was not a part of any college society and was totally shaken up by the pressure of the course and there lied a heap of books before me. I was not used to spending time in the library, I only went there once in a while. Keeping aside this matter, the issue of attendance concerned all of us. Classes, classes and more classes. It felt like there was no life beyond the four walls of the classroom or maybe I was just not able to recognise it. Initially, I was not able to critically analyse things as is done in the literature instead, I was critically analysing myself with a feeling of regret.
Though I knew the answers to the questions asked during the lecture and was able to make unique observations, yet I was scared as hell to answer before the whole class because of the lack of confidence. I was a different, lively girl before my friends, dancing and joking and even having scholarly discussions with them but I felt like a coward deep down. The whole idealised picture of college as shown in the movies was shattered into pieces for me. I was literally so annoyed that felt like killing the person who said: “college is all about fun”.
However, the best thing about college is personality development. I have experienced this a lot. With time, I also started liking Literature, participated in slam poetry competition and joined a dance group to perform at the farewell of my seniors. I started interacting with my teachers, even though it was only a little step, it was fun. My perception changed with the course of time. The canteen was a place where I spent time with my friends during an off period. I remember having discussions on Feminism, distinguishing between men and women so loudly that the person sitting at the counter was embarrassed.
We spent our money on food and books. Thoroughly enjoyed crying about our problems in front of each other. We spent our time in the college lawn during winters thinking of it as our personal space. I had a lot of fun during the Litfest, an event/fest organised by our college’s English department, where I sold books like a salesperson. It was a victory for our group for selling the highest number of books. This time was memorable for me as I also got to know my professors well and got to interact with them a lot more. Moreover, I had heard so much about the Delhi University fests that I was dying to attend one. I had a lot of fun with my friends while participating in the fest.
I have had a variety of experiences in my first year and I am looking forward to exploring more. College is like a roller coaster with a lot of ups and downs. There was a lot on my plate and I somehow survived the first year of my college with some uneasiness and difficulty. College is like a blank paper where one can pen down the thoughts and everything else as they go along. Obviously, there are some problems that we will have to go through but believe me, college is an excellent phase of life.
If asked about my experience, I would definitely like to say that I have had many bittersweet memories. This journey is exciting even if it has a lot of twists and turns. On a lighter note, I would like to add that I am proud of myself and the varying degrees of enthusiasm with which I survived college. I thought it was almost impossible for me to go through with it. I learnt another important thing at my college. that there is nothing right or wrong in answering the questions, we should go for it anyway. I want to conclude by saying that surviving the college is a different kind of feeling that will definitely leave you in awe.