Depression, a problem that’s so common, and yet instead of doing something about it, we make atrocious statements about depression and the people who are suffering from it. Are you confused, about what you should say, and what you should not say to your depressed friend? Then this handcrafted guide is for you.
1. Don’t be depressed, you aren’t taking efforts to think positively
And voila! This cured my depression. Depression is not something that people want to have, it is an illness, like common cold, jaundice, fever and all. No one wants to think negatively or to suffer because of that. Now let me give some biology lesson. One of the major reasons for depression is the less production of serotonin, which is responsible for the processing of emotions in the brain. Increased levels of cortisol, the stress hormone decreases the production of serotonin. Other reasons may include abuse, conflict, loss of a loved one, genetics and substance abuse.
2. There are people who fare worse than you, so you should not be depressed
This logic is completely flawed and comes under the category of a fallacy of relative privation. Relative privation basically means making a scenario better or worse by comparing to the diabolically opposite phenomenon. To explain this let me give you an example, suppose there are two countries where a gang rape occurs. Country A has a higher rate of violence while country B has the lower rate. According to this logic, country B shouldn’t take their case seriously as country A has worse cases. Sounds appalling right? This is how it actually works when you say that to a depressed person.
3. Pray to God and your depression will be cured
Replace the word depression with flu. Do you say the same when a friend has a bad case of flu? Or do you advise him or her to go to a doctor and get checked and take the prescribed medicines? I am sure if you are sane, you would advise the latter. Depression is an illness, just like your other illnesses, but it is a mental illness, which when aggravated, has physical effects too. Praying can give someone a temporary relief, just like drugs, but it’s not the cure. The best option is to get checked by a qualified doctor.
4. Depression happens only to those old people, whose spouses have died
This is probably the most idiotic thing that I have heard. Depression can happen to anyone, at any age, although the probability with senior citizens could be more. But that doesn’t mean that it can’t happen to a teenager. It’s not age, background, financial condition or gender, situation specific. It can happen due to varying reasons.
5. Tell me your problems, and it will cure your depression
Yes, talking to someone about your problems can make you feel better for a short time, but that can’t cure depression. And the reason is simple, you aren’t qualified enough to mete out the treatment, therapy and the medications that are required to help a person in depression. So you can tell the person to share his or her problems with you, but can’t say that you can treat it if you don’t have the required qualifications.
6. Follow a particular superstition, and your star alignment will be better, and the depression would be gone.
This is the most outrageously hilarious and illogical argument I have ever come across. Tell me, how come giving masoor ki dal to a cow is going to improve the planetary positions? It’s not like that the masoor ki dal will automatically arrange the Mars and Jupiter orbits according to your whims and fancies. And how will the planetary positions help with your problems and your deficient hormone levels? It’s simply irrational to even think, let alone spew that shit out of your mouth. Leave the planets with what they are best for, rotation about their own axis, and revolving around the sun.
Instead of being immature, let us lend a helping hand to the people who are depressed. Let us support them in the journey of their treatment, instead of giving them stupid advice. Let’s fight against depression, one step at a time.