When Kavya manoeuvred her way into his life, she didn’t realise that just because he’s a man, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel bullied by it.
Haven’t we all been there? Our friends pushing us to “go for it”, setting up a “blind” date or even swiping right to help us find that “perfect” match…
Something similar happened with Kavya:
Gender stereotypes make us believe that “being a man” means you don’t need to be asked for explicit sexual consent. Watch how this can be disastrous, as a young woman assumes a man’s interest without asking first. #DidYouAsk
Unboxing Consent, based on real stories.
Posted by Youth Ki Awaaz on Wednesday, 1 August 2018
A look here, a glance there, some sparks and endless possibilities. Encouraged by her friends and colleagues, Kavya began to read more into every gesture, word and meeting, without checking or confirming how he felt. Popular ideas around love, romance, coupled with gendered notions of who-should-ask-whom-first made way for subsequent confusions and hurt. Although a story about Kavya, any of us, regardless of gender, could be in this situation. The thrill of identifying with the ideal #CoupleGoals, of looking good together, getting affirmation of being that “perfect match” is heady.
Match-making by friends is great, but finally, you must know what you want and be able to check with the ‘object-of-your-interest’. Assumptions don’t help, levelling off does. Being verbal builds, rather than spoils the chemistry. It makes it possible to put consent into practice at every stage of relationship and intimacy!
So don’t assume. Ask!