Three Weeks Late
It was Friday when Lavi slept, and over the weekend she came out of her room only to eat – that too in tiny quantities. On Monday, I decided I’d had enough and that Lavi needed to get back to her schedule. I went to her room and saw her in the bathroom – throwing up. I let her and waited. She came out and broke down.
When she calmed down a bit, she told me, “Mom I have missed my period, am three weeks late now. Your cabinet had a pregnancy testing kit, which I snuck out and used.” To my horror, she said the three words, ‘I am pregnant!’
A Sea Of Emotions
I did not know how to react. To be honest, I wanted to slap her on the face, but I counted to ten and maintained my cool somehow. Lavi was trusting me as a friend and not as a mother. I did not want to let her down even if she had.
She continued, “I told Rohit, and he was equally stunned. He couldn’t say anything and didn’t know what I should do. Telling my friends didn’t help either, they looked at me with pity and disgust all at the same time. A few wanted to help, but maybe they just didn’t know how.”
I listened to her patiently and wanted to pinch myself. I was in total shock when Lavi said, “I was determined to get an abortion. I looked online and went through the clinics and prices. I mustered up the courage to go to a clinic, an hour’s drive from home, but as soon as I stepped in I felt everyone was staring, judging me, and I quickly ran out. It’s then I realised I needed to talk to you.”
A Sense Of Relief
I went through a gamut of emotions from shock, disbelief, anger, and disappointment. After ten minutes of hearing her say sorry and saying she needed my help, all I could say was, “Lavi, what if you’d gone to one of those shady clinics where they don’t even sterilise the equipment. You could have gotten infected or bled to death!”
But after a while, I calmed down and looked at her in the eye and said, “It will probably take a long time for me to forgive you or trust you again but a part of me is relieved that you came to me before going through an abortion.”
We both decided to sleep over this news, but I could not grab a wink. I had these questions in mind – Should I tell my husband? He is in the US and won’t be able to help us but may only blame me for being a ‘bad mom’. Am I a bad mom? Was it a bad idea to let Lavi date Rohit? I had no answers to these questions yet.
I took leave from work and searched for a clinic that would be discreet, was far from home and reputed. I told Lavi to get dressed and drove her there. “Your womb will be cleaned out so you may feel cramps, but you’ll be under anaesthesia so you won’t feel any pain during the procedure itself.”
Head Out Of Sand
We went to the clinic together, and although I was as scared as Lavi, I was glad it was me who was with her and that she was not alone in her tough time. She had never had an injection without me. How could I leave her alone now, when she was surrounded by unfamiliar faces going through a medical procedure.
The abortion itself took very little time, and she was fine to go home the same day. We didn’t tell anyone else about the abortion. Lavi felt a sense of loss, which I explained was completely normal and understandable.
“Don’t worry Lavi, you’ll have kids of your own someday, but now isn’t the time,” I gently whispered. And she couldn’t agree more. Soon life was back to normal.
Though I must admit I am a little stricter now, I know Lavi and Rohit are teenagers, and they need the right information on safe sex. I wish I had talked to them before Lavi had to go through this experience. As parents, there is no point in keeping our heads in the sand. Our children are going to have sex, more often without telling us. So it’s better we prepare them or make sure they are prepared and make the right choices.
Names have been changed. This article was first published on June 9, 2014
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