Recently, The Tribune reported that almost 50% of the missing reports in Kashmir turn out to be elopement cases.
This isn’t just a Kashmir’s problem. Across the country, the narrow-mindedness of the society leaves couples with no other choice, but to elope.
“The police say cases of elopement are often misreported as abduction, thereby giving unnecessary hype to the issue. We are making efforts in each case to track the victim and restore the custody to her parents,” a senior police officer told The Tribune.
If the parents display a little acceptance, there would be no such thing at all. Whenever someone expresses their desire to marry a person of their choice, they are either subjected to violence or are grounded. Consequently, the person feels that there is no option left than to run away and the parents face the consequences of that. Thinking logically, if your kid runs away, people will start speculating. Some are going to come up with worse reasons for sudden disappearance than to believe that the person fled. Instead of being a target to these speculations why don’t parents entirely end it by supporting their children and letting everyone else know that they love them? Is something like caste, religion, and society more important than the years you spent nurturing your kids and loving them? You loved them throughout, then why not now?
Some parents are abusive and haven’t supported their kids ever. So either they run away to live their lives or stay stuck. In a nutshell, parents need to understand that their children are individuals. You cannot control them like a robot with a controller. Yes, it does get tough to digest such a fact, and the years you spent building up your reputation might be wasted with this one decision of your child. That’s what stops parents right? But realising how happy their child will be would probably make it easier.
And those who flee should realise that it’s not a right choice. It might seem like the right option at that time, but your parents didn’t raise you just so that they would see you run away like that. It might be outrageous to compare elopement with suicide, but the effect of both is, in some aspects, the same on parents. Making parents understand and connecting to them, no matter how much effort it takes, is necessary. They might be influenced by superfluous topics like what will the society think about us, etc. But somewhere one of their concerns would be whether the one you chose is right for you or not. Your priority should be to make your parents understand how deserving the person is and how she/he is good enough to support you throughout your life. Some parents might still not be convinced but eloping is not an option! There has to be a solution to every problem.
Thus, the amends should be made on both the sides. Parents need to start understanding what their kid sees in the person she/he loves. Put yourself in each other’s shoes. Try to widen up your perspective rather than taking abrupt decisions.