On a lazy weekend, wild thoughts ran. What if RSS and its political arm BJP indeed become successful in establishing India as a Hindu Rashtra?
Of course, it is a scary thought and scarier in reality, particularly for minorities which include Muslims, Dalits, Christians, women, LGBT, students, freethinkers and intellectuals. While it’s scary, it is equally humorous. But, it could also be humorous. It inspired me to write a satirical piece.
Just imagine what all could happen if this nightmare indeed comes true.
- The Tricolour flag will be changed to the saffron flag with a bit of white. Trishul will replace Ashoka chakra.
- Army uniform will be changed to white and Khaki trouser with the saffron cap.
- Eid will be celebrated as Ghar Wapsi Diwas.
- Christmas will be marked as Hindu Gaurav Diwas.
- Valentine’s day will be Sanskriti Sangrakshan Diwas.
- As there will be no democracy left, Republic day will be renamed to Hindu Rashtra Diwas.
- Nathhuram Godse’s death anniversary will be Shaurya Diwas.
- Only selected news platforms like Republic TV, Zee TV, and online news portal Postcard, will be allowed to operate.
- Instead of screaming “nation wants to know”, Arnab will be yelling “Bhagwan Ram wants to know”.
- People from LGBT community will be sent to Ram Dev baba’s concentration camps to cure the ‘disease’.
- Bhartiya Nari will be declared permanent housewives and given ‘sabhya'( respectable) dress code. And, of course, women will be banned from entering pubs and clubs and going out after 7pm.
- Mathma Gandhi will be replaced by Veer Savakar in Rs 2,000 currency notes, Mohan Bhagwat on Rs 500 notes, Narender Modi on Rs 100 note, and Atal Bihari Vajpayee on Rs 50 note.
- Apart from GST, 2% tax will be charged as ” Gau Mata kalyan fund”.
- Dignitaries will be welcomed to Bharat with Tilak on the forehead, Gau Mutr sprinkles, and a ride on the ‘Rath’
- High profile dignitaries like Trump will have to take a dip in holy Ganga water.
- All the tribal and forest dwellers will be declared as Hindus without any consultation or consent.
- All the Khans will be banned from Bollywood and real talents like Ritesh Deshmukh, Uday Chopra, Abhishek Bachchan, and Sonakshi Sinha will take them over.
- The history books will be rewritten and simplified. “Bharat was ruled and slaved by Mughals, Britishers, and Congress. Freedom fighters Modi, Amit Shah, and RSS swayamsevaks made sacrifices to free Bharat and made it great Hindu Rashtra.”
- Hindi will be declared as the official and compulsory language of Hindu Rashtra.
- Bharat Ratna award will be renamed as Gobar Ratna award.
- Shashi Tharoor will be jailed by Modi ji for speaking excellent but complicated English and bad Hindi.
- And finally, anti-nationals like Kunal Kamra, Ravish Kumar, Jignesh Mevani and Kanhaiya Kumar will be punished with Bada danda, whipping, and the other forms of corporal punishment as per the Manusmirti.
The readers might find it silly. But if you happen to see what’s happening around, this is the reflection of RSS-BJP and allied Hindu nationalist groups mentality.