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My Friend Was Sexually Abused By His Female Teacher And Everyone Thinks It’s Funny

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This is the story of my friend who is currently studying B.tech at Amity University in Mumbai. It took him a lot to recite this to me. Before I start, I would like to tell all my dear readers that I am the only one with whom he was comfortable sharing this incident. He said “No one understood my story when I tried to approach my friends. It was merely fun for them. They found me dumb not to have utilized the opportunity.”

This happened to him in his school when he was in class 11th and was new to the city – a teacher harassed him. She used to teach him computer sciences, his favorite subject. He, from the very beginning, found the intentions of his teacher fishy. “She used to stare at me while teaching, always made me stand for reading in the class and used to stare at my private parts, used to unnecessarily call me after class or school or in to the staff room when it was vacant, asking for pity favors and help, and moreover she was very partial towards me.”

When I asked him how he knew that it wasn’t healthy, he told me that it’s not only girls who have sixth sense, every human being gets to know what a good touch is and what a bad touch is, what a good look is and what a bad look is, “she used to make me highly uncomfortable. And come on, I wasn’t a little child at that time. I was in class 11th,” he added. I absolutely understand him here.

She called him to the staff room when it was vacant, adjusted her saree in a manner which exposed her belly button and cleavage. It made him extremely uneasy.

“I never understood as to why she did this. She was married and I was a kid. I simply used to lower my gaze. It was the most I could do because she was my teacher and I being a child had a psychology that disobeying her was also disrespecting her.” The computer sciences teacher used to sit beside him in the lab, and help him forcefully even when he never wanted help. “The bench beside me used to be vacant, still, she always chose to sit next to me sticking to me and telling me how to do coding. She seldom used the chair for teachers in the lab because mostly she used to sit on the stool beside me.”

“It was post lunch break when I was sitting in the computer lab along with three of my friends waiting for our class to start when my teacher called me. At this point in time I was totally confused because I didn’t want to go but she is my teacher, maybe it’s something urgent for which she is calling me – murmured other side of my brain.  I decided to go. There was a room next to the lab which had many spare computers that were used by our teachers. She told me to enter there, made me sit and told me to do coding. I started. While I was working with the mouse her hand overlapped my hand. This made me damn nervous and I started to sweat. Further, her hands moved to my arms followed by on to my back, and finally reached my private parts. She pinched my penis. All this happened in a spur of the moment and before I could understand that it was leading to this direction, she had done it. I immediately got up, told her I wanted to go to the wash room and rushed. I couldn’t analyze what happened with me. I failed to get it. I wasn’t getting how to react. Shall I report the matter to student welfare authorities or my parents or share it with my elder brother and he could guide me. I chose to sit back silently. Though I wasn’t a little kid to have not understood that this was harassment against me, I actually failed to understand it. I was fussed and confused.

My thoughts were:

1.People won’t believe me. No one is going to find my story as a real one. They would name it fiction. Maybe it would turn the tables for me.

2.On sharing that our computer teacher made me uncomfortable and giving the hint of what I faced to one of my peers, he said – had I been in your shoes, I would have had a golden time, I would have enjoyed it the most. How can’t you? Come on buddy, you enjoyed it right? How did it feel? This made me sure that no peer is going to help me out with this and they can only make fun.

3.Having a liberal environment at my home, I could have communicated it with my family, especially my mom or brother but I didn’t because I thought communication of my parents to school authorities would pose problems for me in school or may be for my entire school life.

I decided to take steps myself. So, I started going to the class in her period late or altogether used to avoid her classes, bunk them or go to the library during her class. Whenever I used to sit back in the class in her presence it caused utmost discomfort, gave me goosebumps and butterflies.

I was fortunate enough not to be taught by her in class 12th. Hence, didn’t face her much. This was totally something unimaginable and unexpected to me. I couldn’t help as she was my teacher. Post this incident, I started fearing any teacher who used to come close to or near me. However, now I have overcome that phase. We had always come across such cases happening with girls but the reality is that this happens with boys too. The world is bitter to both boys and girls.

I want to say this to all those who don’t fear anything – back then I wasn’t aware that laws were there for me. But it’s ok not to know that. Our duty is to speak up against the wrong. If it’s wrong you need to take steps, as small or as big as they could be. My only, and mind you all, I am well aware that it’s a major fault that I didn’t speak up. I was afraid and chose to take a back seat! We don’t know if someone in my school is still a victim of that teacher’s actions and we won’t get to know until the person chooses to expose her. She will continue this. I gave her the leverage by shutting my voice. If I meet a victim today, or you are one and reading this, please, I beg of you , speak up because silence won’t deliver good to anyone including you. If you are truly a victim you need’t think that no laws protect  you because laws are there to protect any innocent and YOU ARE ONE!”

It was also a kind of taboo for my friend to speak on this. It took him time to accept that this happened with him. So, to all the lovely readers, speak up, because your words can give strength to many!

You must be to comment.
  1. Abhishek Ganguly

    Often we men are looked down upon when we claim to be a victim of Sexual assualt, balme it on the ‘men don’t cry’ funda. But yes victim is a gender neutral work just like ‘sexual assualt’,that says it all

    1. Lubna Ismailee

      Very true

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Now as an MH Fellow with YKA, she’s expanding her impressive scope of work further by launching a campaign to facilitate the process of ensuring better menstrual health and SRH services for women residing in correctional homes in West Bengal. The campaign will entail an independent study to take stalk of the present conditions of MHM in correctional homes across the state and use its findings to build public support and political will to take the necessary action.

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The long-term aim of the campaign is to develop an open culture where menstruation is not treated as a taboo. The campaign also seeks to hold the schools accountable for their responsibilities as an important component in the implementation of MHM policies by making adequate sanitation infrastructure and knowledge of MHM available in school premises.

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Harshita is a psychologist and works to support people with mental health issues, particularly adolescents who are survivors of violence. Associated with the Azadi Foundation in UP, Harshita became an MHM Fellow with YKA, with the aim of promoting better menstrual health.

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A student from Delhi School of Social work, Vineet is a part of Project Sakhi Saheli, an initiative by the students of Delhi school of Social Work to create awareness on Menstrual Health and combat Period Poverty. Along with MHM Action Fellow Sabna, Vineet launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society.

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A former Assistant Secretary with the Ministry of Women and Child Development in West Bengal for three months, Lakshmi Bhavya has been championing the cause of menstrual hygiene in her district. By associating herself with the Lalana Campaign, a holistic menstrual hygiene awareness campaign which is conducted by the Anahat NGO, Lakshmi has been slowly breaking taboos when it comes to periods and menstrual hygiene.

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