My ‘Half Girlfriend’ And I Became Each Other’s Companions Without Commitment

Sarthak tells Love Matters India his zara hatke story with Megha, and how lack of any commitment is what makes their relationship really tick.

By Arpit Chhikara:

Sarthak, 26, is an entrepreneur in Delhi.

Partner, Sans Commitment

The day I decided to become an entrepreneur and give a hundred percent to my startup, I knew I would not have the time for a typical girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. I was doing well in my career but still felt the need for a partner, sans commitment.

To sustain a relationship is hard but to not have one is harder.  At 26, I was not out there in the world looking for love and getting married. But I was also not going to live alone! I said this to myself as I was watching Netflix over a weekend, alone in my room. The only thing I was concerned about was whether any girl would echo my thoughts.

Luck By Chance

In between both these extremes of commitment and singlehood, I had a chance meeting with Megha during a business trip to Delhi. Megha was a young, confident girl and was interning at the firm whose founder I had a meeting with. She assisted me with printouts of some documents and we began chatting.

During our brief chat, I told her about my startup and she listened with much interest. After I finished with my meeting, I thanked her for all her help and left my visiting card with her.

I received the first text from her the very next morning and it felt good. We started texting each other quite often about work and life in general. From texts, we graduated to phone calls and became buddies.

Got A Condom?

After two months, her internship in Delhi came to an end and she came to Bangalore for some work. I offered her to stay with me since we were good friends now and I was living alone. She moved into the spare guest room and I was happy to have company.

Over time, we developed a strong bond over breakfast and dinners. One weekend, while sipping tea in our balcony together, I told her about my almost non-existent sex life.

I was expecting her to think that I was a creep but she asked me whether I had a condom or not. I didn’t have any. She told me to get one as fast as I could and that evening we had sex for the first time.

Just Pleasure

She was the second girl I had been physically intimate with and I was simply overwhelmed with pleasure when she touched my body. The next day, I told her that I am not looking for a relationship, and she said she also was not looking for one. During the time we stayed together, I had to buy a large pack of condoms and keep it over my wardrobe so that the maid would not see it.

She went back to Delhi after her business in Bangalore was over. After that, we had to limit our engagements to phone and video calls. It comforted me to see her face every once in a while and have somebody to talk to when I was bored and tired.

It was equally peaceful to not talk to her every day and describe how my day went and ask what all she did at work. We became each other’s companions but there was no lifelong partnership promise between us.

What’s In A Name

Having empathetic and sexual relationships without any commitment was not just a dream anymore, we were living it. We live a thousand kilometers away so there is no weekly pressure of dates. But having sex every time we meet on a vacation is relaxing.

At the same time, asking her advice on the latest marketing books and telling her about my work is helpful. We are happy with whatever we are doing and not giving a name to whatever we have between us. Our relationship is under no burden and we are free from social expectations.

*To protect the identity, names have been changed.

Do you also have a modern-day relationship tale to share? Comment below or share with Love Matters (LM) on our Facebook page. If you have a specific question, please ask LM experts on our discussion forum.

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Now as an MH Fellow with YKA, she’s expanding her impressive scope of work further by launching a campaign to facilitate the process of ensuring better menstrual health and SRH services for women residing in correctional homes in West Bengal. The campaign will entail an independent study to take stalk of the present conditions of MHM in correctional homes across the state and use its findings to build public support and political will to take the necessary action.

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Meri Marzi aims to ensure sensitised, non-discriminatory health workers for the needs of female sex workers in the Suraksha Clinics under the UPSACS (Uttar Pradesh State AIDS Control Society) program by creating more dialogues and garnering public support for the cause of sex workers’ menstrual rights. The campaign will also ensure interventions with sex workers to clear misconceptions around overall hygiene management to ensure that results flow both ways.

Read more about her campaign.

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A student from Delhi School of Social work, Vineet is a part of Project Sakhi Saheli, an initiative by the students of Delhi school of Social Work to create awareness on Menstrual Health and combat Period Poverty. Along with MHM Action Fellow Sabna, Vineet launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society.

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As a Youth Ki Awaaz Menstrual Health Fellow, Nitisha has started Let’s Talk Period, a campaign to mobilise young people to switch to sustainable period products. She says, “80 lakh women in Delhi use non-biodegradable sanitary products, generate 3000 tonnes of menstrual waste, that takes 500-800 years to decompose; which in turn contributes to the health issues of all menstruators, increased burden of waste management on the city and harmful living environment for all citizens.

Let’s Talk Period aims to change this by

Find out more about her campaign here.

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A former Assistant Secretary with the Ministry of Women and Child Development in West Bengal for three months, Lakshmi Bhavya has been championing the cause of menstrual hygiene in her district. By associating herself with the Lalana Campaign, a holistic menstrual hygiene awareness campaign which is conducted by the Anahat NGO, Lakshmi has been slowly breaking taboos when it comes to periods and menstrual hygiene.

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A Guwahati-based college student pursuing her Masters in Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Bidisha started the #BleedwithDignity campaign on the technology platform Change.org, demanding that the Government of Assam install
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