Can the queer men assimilate into society and live happily? Yes. From one queer man to another, here are some pointers.
Most people I know had never had any gay friends before I came out to them. To begin with, come out to your very close friends, if you feel safe. Let them know how gay men are in real life.
When you are ‘out’, reach out to people and educate them. Make them realise, through your behavior and life, that gay men and heterosexual are equal.
Be proud of who you are, but do not make your sexuality your only identity. Do not earn your bread out of it.
Do not blindly try to fit yourself into boxes of stereotypes. For example, in the movie “Love, Simon”, the titular character’s secret (being gay) is revealed to his high school peers. He begins thinking he should dress up as gay people do. He tries many outfits, but later realises that he does not like those clothes, and he will always prefer his usual clothes. Not all gay men are fashion designers!
The next bit of advice I can give you is to carry your true identity to Pride parades. Pride is an opportunity for straight, cisgender people get to learn about queer people. Do not be pretentious. And we are not our stereotypes! So if you normally love riding your Pulsar or Hero Honda bike, do not be under the impression that Pride is pink day and it’s mandatory to ride a pink coloured scooty! Be yourself!
I have learnt about drag queens from friends. It’s a concept of drag is to break down masculinity, and learn how to respect womanhood. Men, irrespective of their assigned gender or sexual orientation, often perform as drag queens to gather awareness or funds for social causes. But its central aim is to free men from complex, stereotypical traits given to them (traits they never really asked for!).
Do drag if you love it, but make it clear that it has nothing to do with sexual orientation. Anyone can do it. Maybe you only see gay men doing it, because many of us are just liberal enough to take a step forward!
Just because some people call you a sex freak (they really do) you do not have to take it as a complement. Behave like gentleman. I have seen a gay activist coming to my college and reinforcing the idea that gay men are sex freaks. I was outraged. There are many gay people who might not be interested in sex. These irresponsible statements exclude them. Being gay is not about sex. it’s about love.
These are my subjective opinions, and I believe they are aimed at helping people who might need it. So, let’s move towards a healthier society!