Looking at many of my friends in their 20s, I see them taking pride in not knowing some basic things, and celebrating the same on social media. Starting from “I don’t know how to cook dinner” to not being able to manage their expenses with a limited income, the list goes on and on.
When I moved out of my parents’ house, I didn’t know how to cook, do my own laundry. or manage my own expenses. I learnt everything over a period of time because I had to survive in this city and build a life on my own. Back then, I was ashamed of not knowing those things when I could see some of my other friends doing it on their own. I feel that being ashamed is actually essential for human beings to master basic essential skills, and to deal with laziness and procrastination.
I don’t think it’s that difficult for someone to get their shit together in life. I get that no one is going to be great at everything right away, but being irresponsible and ordering take-away every day instead of cooking is nothing but laziness. I don’t think it’s being “chic” to delay a doctor appointment for years on end. It’s plain unacceptable. I don’t think it’s something one should take pride in.
Look how embarrassing it is to walk into a bachelor’s house, and see beer bottles, empty pizza boxes, cigarette buds, and unwashed vessels everywhere. It’s not cool at all. It shows that they can’t manage their own house, probably because that person’s mom is not there to micromanage!
It’s not about being an adult. It’s what we people should do because we should be leading a life as mature adults, rather than being overgrown toddlers. I understand that no one can be perfect in managing everything, but one can’t take pride in wobbling like a baby throughout adulthood, unsure of how to do basic things.
Stop taking pride in not knowing how to manage your life.You’re not great for saying how chaotic, messed up, and disorganised your life is. We may not come from a background which empowers us to manage these things, but it’s not chic to still be struggling into your 30s. We are expected to learn things on our own and manage our lives without being dependent on anyone else.
I think this happens because of this cultural phenomenon where many of us don’t get to lead a life of learning and doing things on our. Most people had their parents and others around them to give them everything on a silver platter. I definitely don’t claim to be any better myself, but I have learnt and evolved over time. Most people turn their self-defeating patterns into jokes on social media because that feels easier than actually dealing with it. It’s ridiculous to wear your inability as a badge of honour on social media.
I am not saying that you have to have everything figured out and mastered. But we need to stop thinking that being a mess is quirky or cute, because it is not. I think that one can do better than just laughing at the jokes and memes we share on social media. It’s not about being cool in any way, it’s that you are refusing to adult.
Being an adult is not as hard as you think; it’s that somewhere you are lazy and selfish. You haven’t made the effort to come out of the cocoon. We have no excuse other than our own laziness, really, and that’s something we should definitely not be taking pride in.
In your 20s, it’s your time to take pride in learning new things. It’s time to take up the responsibility, not of taking care of anyone else, but of managing your life.
There are millions of young folks in their 20s who actually manage life on their own; they pay bills, file IT returns, repair their cars, manage their budget effectively. And you know what? Even you can do that. So choose wisely. Don’t be lazy.