Sex. Intercourse. Condoms. We definitely know what these words mean. Teenage is considered incomplete if one hasn’t thoroughly investigated and researched these words. Whenever our teachers and parents failed in making us understand these simple yet fascinating concepts, our friends were there, standing with us, toe to toe, making us understand what these concepts could possibly mean, by using visual aids and grade 9th science textbooks as references.
Slow learners were despised and frowned upon, fast learners were billed as impending casanovas. Understanding those concepts were considered as a one-way ticket to magical world of adulthood, the place where every teenager wanted descend ASAP. Sex was tremendously overhyped those days, so hyped that, every teenager had these words on top of their ‘to-do’ lists.
But one important concept was left out during all these hullabaloos. It was always passed off as some trivial aspect of this activity, inspite of its basic paramount importance. That concept was consent. Consent basically means, to agree to something; to allow something to happen.
Let’s just say, sex is a contract and it needs ‘consent’ of both partners to get enforced. If one tries to enforce the contract without the ‘consent’ of the other, then, then that amounts to a breach of contract.
But, back then, sex was billed as ‘sabko chahiye’ (everyone wants it), rather than a consent-based activity. Our ignorance made us believe that no consent is needed because everyone needs it, and they’ll eventually enjoy it.
Lusty stares hit us much before puberty does. Choice of clothing and friendly behavior were seen as an invitation for sexual activity. Marriage was seen as a one time contract of consent for lifelong sexual activities.
Just the virtue of being a walking, talking and breathing human was enough reason for someone to think that one needs sex, and someone needs to volunteer for that, no matter what one’s choices are. Every time, consent took the backseat, while our lust for flesh drove our actions.
What If, We Were Taught ‘C For Consent’?
What if, we were taught about the importance of consent right from our teenage years? We could’ve understood that we need to ask for consent before indulging in such an activity. We could’ve learnt that if the other person says ‘no’, it means ‘no’ and a ‘no’ never means convincing or thrusting oneself upon the other. We can’t touch the other person without their permission and we’ve to keep our inflamed self to ourselves. PERIOD.
We could’ve learnt that a ‘yes’ doesn’t always mean ‘yes’, and comes with certain limitations, where one may say ‘Yes’, but is visibly uncomfortable which can be seen in the body language and the tone. We could’ve learnt when to ‘start’ and when to ‘stop’. We could’ve learnt that a sexual act, devoid of consent is rape. We could’ve learnt that this concept of consent is applicable to every single person in this world, regardless of one’s gender, clothes, looks, marital status, mannerisms, relationships, orientations or preferences. We could’ve learnt that everyone has the right to consent and right to say ‘no’.
We could’ve learnt and made this world safer and happier for everyone.
But, as they say, there’s no age for learning, what we missed back then, could be learned now. After we learn that, we can educate the next generation about consent and make the world a better and safer place. Let’s spread the word, C for Consent.