Women have been fighting all odds to prove they are better than men. The fight for equality has curbed the need for marriage. Women and men are equal in all respects. But the issue is still debatable in every household. A lot has been said and done about feminism- breaking stereotypes, changing trends, and women choosing to remain single as they don’t settle for less.
Being a woman myself, I can relate to a lot of issues we (as a collective) have faced over the centuries. I feel proud to be a part of the kind that is skilled to multitask, emotionally stronger and versatile. Growing up in the 90’s I was opportune to be a part of the radical movement of feminism and women rights. I ended up believing that a man was the root cause of most of the problems that women faced. Where some women fought for equal rights, there were a few who twisted the idea of feminism to their benefits. Back then, I was too young to imagine that there could be a man’s side of the story too! But some incidents have left me puzzled and thinking. Past few months of traveling, meeting new people, catching up with old friends, and some stupid Indian soap operas managed to change my perspective on the debate surrounding gender equality fights.
Men, their emotional needs and feelings have remained an untouched and underrated topic so far. Boys in our society are taught to behave strongly by concealing their sentiments. They are taught to be brave in the face of adversities. They are brainwashed to be the bread earner of the family, hence creating a biased gender scenario from the very beginning. Boys grow up believing that everything is possible for them to achieve, and so a ‘no’ is never an answer even in tough times. Living all their life with a mindset of “I do not have a right to feel helpless/or a man doesnt feel any pain” makes them even vulnerable.
Women always complain that men are not expressive. Hello! Wake up, shake up! How many of us remember our parents telling our brother’s to “stop crying like a girl” or friends making fun of each other by saying “don’t cry like a girl”. Yes, that was certainly mean! Women were always considered the weaker sex. But the facts prove it otherwise. Men, since childhood, have been programmed to stop listening to their own little voice because there are other voices important than his own. He is the pride of his family. He has to fulfill his father’s expectations and stay in control of his mother’s wishes for him. You know why? Because everyone else knows what’s better for him, than the man himself. His dreams, his wishes take a back seat to prove his worth as a good son.
Marriage complicates a man’s life further as he is never taught to create a balance between the two important women in his life. On one hand, his mother can’t stop controlling his thoughts and interfering in his life because of her own insecurities. While his wife strives to find time with him to strengthen their bond that takes ages to develop. From our country to around the world men too have a dark history. They too were sold as slaves, they too were raped for pleasure, they were ripped off their pride in front of their family. Men have a record of forced suicides because of the mental pressure that went out of curable levels or just to save their dignity.
Women, we say are all different but men are generalized. ‘Men are all the same!’, if two women cannot be similar how can two men be the same? Men have their own issues to handle. Some of them are quite, some not so communicative but they are not inexpressive. And yes, not all men are looking to sleep with every other woman they meet. Some are genuinely honest, loyal, and gentlemen. Given the girls vs boys scenario in our society, the fight I feel should be against injustice towards both the genders.
Steps should be taken to bring a positive change to weed the old customs that work against both the genders. We should be the change that we want to see. We should teach your daughters to be self-reliant, independent and intolerant of injustice while helping our boys to be more expressive and verbal about their needs. They should be taught that asking for help is not a sign of weakness and that both partners can be bread earners and decision makers. Life is unfair to everyone at some point of time. One does not qualify for life tests based on gender. So why put each other in boxes of stereotypes? When in doubt remember, there is always another side of the story.
Dear women be compassionate, there is always a man’s side of the story too!