I remember I was around eight or nine years old when I decided that I wanted to be a teacher. Years went by, and I changed my decision. After some time, I wanted to be an air hostess (I don’t remember the reason). And after a few more years, engineering happened.
Like many other parents (maybe almost the whole of India), even my parents wanted me to crack JEE and get into the top IITs or NITs. But nothing of that sort happened and I ended up in one of the not so known private colleges of India.
To be very honest, I was never very inclined towards engineering when I started it (but it did teach me a lot of things apart from bookish knowledge and I have no complains now), but are we given choices when we are young? A few or many of you reading this might easily relate to this. Engineering was once a tag, but now it has become just like any other regular degree. Nowadays, you will find engineers in every sector, be it banking, insurance or any other private or government sector, so much so that out of 8 lakh graduates, 60% remain jobless (ironical, isn’t it?), according to India Today, 18 March 2017 report. The percentage would have increased by 2019.
Why is this happening? Where are we lacking? At the grassroots, what I can point out is that maybe this is because we are taught to pursue degrees rather than passion. Some might say that degrees are important, and helps bring home the bacon. If this were true, then we would never have had a Virat Kohli or Sachin Tendulkar.
The competition in India is suffocating. Since childhood, we are taught to be the best in an already selected field by our elders, irrespective of whether we like it or not. Parents want their own dreams to be fulfilled through their children, not realising that the children might not have the same dream. This leads to stress, a fear of not living up to their expectations, self guilt, depression and ultimately suicide.
Almost 90% engineers spend their 2-3 years in Kota (which is considered the ultimate place for coaching). During this phase of preparation, they face various situations — from not scoring high marks to peer pressure. A few students are under constant stress because they hail from not-so-prosperous families and their parents have spend all their savings in coaching. These students have to get into the top institutes, no matter what! An example is given here in the video.
IItians hold a special status in our society. Yes, they have worked hard to get into it, but to give them a royal treatment puts other students under an unexplained stress. If anyone from a family gets into one of the IITs, all his younger and even elder siblings and cousins are given his example and the younger ones are also pushed into engineering, because the race to be the best exists everywhere. And if one fails to meet the expectations, suicide seems to be the only way out, because he or she feels that they have brought shame to the family. The rat race doesn’t end here. If they are not ending their own lives, they are being forced to drop out, to prepare again, which ends up being even more stressful.
But is getting into an IIT the only ultimate achievement? What guarantee is there that being in IIT would make one the happiest in life? A recent case of IIT Guwahati and a few more of other IITs answer the above questions video.
Yes, you heard it right! The student in the video writes “Engineering Sucks”.
Parents need to understand that internal happiness is a big thing. Your child will earn money no matter what he or she studies, but once gone, they won’t come back. Stop expecting that they would fulfil your dreams! Parents have their dreams, kids have theirs. Imagine what would have happened if Mahendra Singh Dhoni’s father had forced him to go back to work–would the world have come to know of such a great cricketer? Nothing lasts forever, including the excitement after getting into an IIT, but what lasts is the happiness that we have within ourselves and this can only be experienced if we follow our dreams, and not those of others. Your support for your child is your greatest investment and their happiness and excellence in their chosen field your greatest return.