One of the most beautiful stages of life is stepping over the threshold between childhood and youth. It is also the most delicate period when getting the right guidance can make all the difference.
When I look at my life, I realise that there are some missteps that I could have avoided if I had the right guidance. But those were times when parents were ‘parents’ and girls were supposed to fill in a certain mold dictated by the society.
For instance, although I grew up as an individual with a mind and dreams of my own, the big decisions weren’t mine to make. Perhaps if I had taken a stronger stand for myself (which meant more struggle and ‘rebelling’ against society’s diktats, and parents are a part of society) I could have fulfilled some dreams of mine, if not all. Dreams like pursuing a post-graduation and a career of my choice. This stand, in turn, would have made me more confident and secure as a woman, leading to better choices in my personal life too. A deep sense of achievement is the foundation of confidence.
My experience has made me a more aware parent who is more of a friend to her daughter. My experience is why I raised her to take her own decisions.
I would advise young girls to know and understand themselves; identify their strengths and weaknesses, and then work on their weaknesses while strengthening their strengths. The self-esteem and confidence you need to work lies in your strengths. Most of all, persevere; believe in yourself, your capabilities and don’t give up. I know giving in to societal demands is easier at that moment, but believe me, letting someone else take life decisions for you is the biggest disservice you can do towards yourself.
It’s better to take a tough stand now and make the life of your choice than to regret missed opportunities and live an unfulfilling life.
Remember to consider the pros and cons of your decision. Write them down and analyse them before taking a decision.
Try discussing them with a close friend, a confidant. A different perspective helps one view a situation or decision differently, leading to more, and at times better, solutions.
Most of all build your tribe—your group of girlfriends whom you can count on and who will stand by you, supporting you in your moments of weakness and helping you conquer the times you feel disheartened and want to give up.
The world is finally opening up for girls—acknowledging and accepting (even if begrudgingly) their right to choose and make their own life. So girls, fortify yourselves by studying, identifying and honing your skills, and going after the life you dream of. You might fulfill your dreams or they may not become a reality, but it will be okay because you did your best and were true to yourselves by following your heart, with a mind of your own.
Just never give up on your self. And never forget that freedom comes with responsibility—towards yourself and others.
When your parents will see you shine and be a responsible adult, they will be proud of you.