I Am A Single Woman By Choice. Why Won’t Society Let Me Be?

Since ages, the issues relating to women have been raised and discussed, and therefore reforms are being made today in society. But even when one reform takes place, others come to replace them.

From basic education to menstrual hygiene, there are endless issues; not just women, but even their male counterparts are subjected to many complex problems. But despite everything, one sure thing that adds to the burden of challenges a woman faces is her being single.

Alia Bhatt in Dear Zindagi, a film that focused on the life and choices of a young woman who chooses to remain single.

Society, after a point of time, just cannot stand single women; by single I mean unmarried, divorced, widowed. One is constantly humiliated and put down both by men and women. When women, who do not have an identity themselves, and achieved success only by virtue of having a successful, rich and resourceful husband, question your character and comment on it, well, that just breaks me. This is indeed something that I have had to struggle with.

And when it comes to men, I feel as if all they think of is opportunity! A single, broken woman is no more than an opportunity, these are men who just cannot think of a women as anything more than her body. After all it’s a man’s world! Women cannot exist without a man, and if you are single then either you are ‘available’ or else a ‘slut!’ As if there is nothing in between – single women not depending on men, and not seeking favours do not exist.

To survive you must have men around you, men who wish to help you in return for some sexual favour or some other ulterior motive. These men might first claim to be your friend, and over a period of time, are prone to forgetting their boundaries. Naturally, there will be boundaries for a woman who clearly defined her relationship right from the beginning.

Consent, and that too the girl’s consent is mandatory! But, is anybody listening? I mean, did somebody ever ask a girl what type of man she wanted, whether she consented to a relationship, in fact, whether she wanted a man at all, or not? This is, really, the big question.

The whole intention of this article is to ask, why we cannot become educated enough to make such women part of our society. Why is it that every now and then, a woman has to give her character certificate? Why is this certification not being asked for from the opportunistic men who seek to take advantage of a single woman?

I feel like we are seriously living in the ancient era of the Ramayana; but it is us, you and I, who are responsible for such mentality. The question remains, why am I and women like me subjected to this humiliation, the daily judgement and mockery, and faulted for not being associated with a man? Why doesn’t the so called society stand up for us? Why are such men who make indecent proposals and even marriage proposals without a girl’s consent, not questioned? I am not the one making the move, yet I am humiliated, and the people who are making these nasty moves are not even questioned for their actions. I call this out as pathetic!

This is not something a government can solve. It is us, we need to broaden our perspective and let women be themselves. Stop harassing her every now and then, stop judging her character, and showering her with marriage proposals if she is not ready, even if she is in her late 30s. If you are indeed concerned, then make her comfortable, make her feel accepted, give her respect. The question is, are we ready for such a change in mindset?

Featured image for representative purpose only.
Featured image source: Dell Inc/Wikimedia Commons.
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