Today I watched Kabir Singh, all alone, for the first time in my life. I am not good at reviewing movies nor I am interested in doing so. But I think it is important to discuss these issues from a gender perspective. A director has the right to make whatever kind of movie he wants to, yet I would like to point out some things.
One needs to understand that there is a term called ‘media discourse’ which refers to the way a platform communicates with the audience. The very first flaw of the movie lies in the way the concept of loving someone is depicted. You cannot possess someone even if you are madly in love with them. It made me uncomfortable to watch the hero kiss the heroine on her cheeks the first day they talked, without asking her if she was comfortable or not.
The character of the heroine in this movie is a shy, timid girl; supposedly the kind of girl some boys want. It was totally unacceptable how the hero slapped the female lead when things went beyond his control. I’d like to point out here that girls are not someone’s property; they are human beings and they shouldn’t be treated like objects.
There is one scene in the movie where the hero interrupted a class while a lecture was going on. He threatened his juniors to stay away from the girl in a white suit and pink chunni, referring to her as his ‘bandi’ (girl/captive). He warns the students that if anyone dares to come close to her then the repercussions will be dangerous.
This was totally bullshit. How can a guy just look at a beautiful girl and without even knowing her name claim that she is his ‘bandi’?
The suppression of one gender in the name of care, love and security is seriously problematic. If a man can handle himself then a woman can too. She can raise her voice and decide what is good for her or what is not. These kinds of movies have a psychological impact on youngsters. There are already many cases of obsessive men in colleges who ruin a girl’s life with their one-sided love. I believe movies like this exemplify this behaviour and encourage men to treat women this way. Men are already justifying dominance over women in the name of love.
For all the girls out there, please try to understand the peculiarity of being submissive. Power and dominance are not the kinds of love you deserve. Love someone who liberates you from the shackles of patriarchy. Love someone who gives you the agency to decide for yourself. Love the one who stood behind you in every step of your life when you were struggling to find your identity by fighting all the odds, not the one who stood in front of you, speaking on behalf of you.
Remember:
“Men are not the enemy, but the fellow victims. The real enemy is women’s denigration of themselves.” – Simone De Beauvoir