Love Is Not Something That You Can Create, It Just Happens!

I was a normal man battling life like everyone else. I have been in a relationship only once when I was in my late teens and had literally no understanding of what love and relationships meant. After I broke up with my girlfriend, I found another girl online when I was 20. We met only twice and then, well I don’t want to talk about what happened next. Life went on and I was convinced that either I am a guy who is incapable of love or the kind of love we see in movies, daily soaps, advertisements, doesn’t really exist. I gave up my habit of watching pornography, although I wasn’t much into it ever, but I still took a sneak peek every now and then. I also made a promise to myself to change my physique. All was going well; but destiny had other plans. I joined a regional news channel and my whole life went upside down. There is a girl in my office who makes me feel the way I have never felt. I will not be able to express that feeling in words. It’s just inexplicable. I tried hard not to think about her too much, but little did I know that my soul had already been lost to her. She doesn’t let me sleep, yet I feel absolutely no fatigue going into office after only two hours of sleep. I feel no heat when the sun is shining at 40° and I felt no pangs of thirst even when I fasted this Ramdan. She is all I think about. She is all I want, but most importantly she is all I need. I know this sounds all Bollywood and ridiculous because I haven’t met her privately, the only thing I know about her is her name and well, that’s it. But there is something about her that is drawing me towards her. It could be her face—because as far as I am concerned, she is the most beautiful girl on the planet right now. It could also be her personality, considering that she is a journalist. Maybe I’m sensing a magnetic attraction towards her behaviour because she is very friendly with her co-workers. Whatever it is I haven’t figured it out yet, but what I do know is that while I am describing her, I feel an odd sensation in my stomach, my hands are shaking, my heart is thumping so fast that it might jump right out of my chest, and my mind is continuously painting her image.

Earlier, when I would listen to others narrating similar experiences, I would go, “He is an idiot”. But now the same bolt of lightening has struck me, I fell flat on my back and am unable to get up. I don’t know if this is really love or I am just attracted to a wonderful human being. But these feelings of mine have generated some questions in my mind. Am I the only one to be feeling like this? Am I alone in my confusion? I think maybe not. Most people who feel like me often hide their feelings all their life and that is something that scares me more than death. I also realise that this could lead to a lot of failed or unhappy marriages, which have become quite the norm these days. I often hear people say things like “Both of them are nice, I don’t understand why they are fighting” or “Ladki acchi hai phir bhi uski kadar nahi”. It’s because they don’t love each other. Love is not something that you can create. It just happens. In our society, relationships are hard for everyone to appreciate, even our parents and friends. We have not been taught to choose partners or how to live with a partner once you have chosen them. Caste is also a very big issue when it comes to love. But whatever may be in store for me in the future; I just love what I am feeling right now. Without even talking to me, this woman has made me realise hidden aspects of my personality; I urge all of you who are in love or are looking for love or have failed in love. Don’t lose hope in love. Even if love is one sided, it has the power to change you and your life. And who knows, you might get lucky! Don’t expect to be loved in return. Just pour yourself into this experience and enjoy every moment of it.

Similar Posts

A former Assistant Secretary with the Ministry of Women and Child Development in West Bengal for three months, Lakshmi Bhavya has been championing the cause of menstrual hygiene in her district. By associating herself with the Lalana Campaign, a holistic menstrual hygiene awareness campaign which is conducted by the Anahat NGO, Lakshmi has been slowly breaking taboos when it comes to periods and menstrual hygiene.

A Gender Rights Activist working with the tribal and marginalized communities in india, Srilekha is a PhD scholar working on understanding body and sexuality among tribal girls, to fill the gaps in research around indigenous women and their stories. Srilekha has worked extensively at the grassroots level with community based organisations, through several advocacy initiatives around Gender, Mental Health, Menstrual Hygiene and Sexual and Reproductive Health Rights (SRHR) for the indigenous in Jharkhand, over the last 6 years.

Srilekha has also contributed to sustainable livelihood projects and legal aid programs for survivors of sex trafficking. She has been conducting research based programs on maternal health, mental health, gender based violence, sex and sexuality. Her interest lies in conducting workshops for young people on life skills, feminism, gender and sexuality, trauma, resilience and interpersonal relationships.

A Guwahati-based college student pursuing her Masters in Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Bidisha started the #BleedwithDignity campaign on the technology platform Change.org, demanding that the Government of Assam install
biodegradable sanitary pad vending machines in all government schools across the state. Her petition on Change.org has already gathered support from over 90000 people and continues to grow.

Bidisha was selected in Change.org’s flagship program ‘She Creates Change’ having run successful online advocacy
campaigns, which were widely recognised. Through the #BleedwithDignity campaign; she organised and celebrated World Menstrual Hygiene Day, 2019 in Guwahati, Assam by hosting a wall mural by collaborating with local organisations. The initiative was widely covered by national and local media, and the mural was later inaugurated by the event’s chief guest Commissioner of Guwahati Municipal Corporation (GMC) Debeswar Malakar, IAS.

Sign up for the Youth Ki Awaaz Prime Ministerial Brief below