Yes, this is another article by an enraged ‘feminist’ about what a blunder ‘Arjun Reddy’ aka ‘Kabir Singh’ is. Yes, there will be the usage of terms like toxic masculinity, patriarchy, abuse, etc. No, there will be no praise for Shahid Kapoor as an actor or how well he impersonated the character irrespective of how misplaced it was.
Kabir Singh is the quintessential hero of Telugu cinema who found his way to Bollywood, thanks to its massive success. It belongs to the lineage of Salman Khan starrer ‘Wanted‘ where the male protagonist says “inki jaisi ladkiyan hamare jaise ladko ke liye dance karti hai” (girls/women like her dance for boys/men like us) as he stalks the female protagonist regularly and makes a private concert out of her aerobics class.
The male audience erupts into laughter, whistles and hoots as the female audience is left clueless! But, at the end, it is alright because the hero is a nice guy, his heart is pure and he REALLY loves the girl. He protects her from all unwanted gazes except his own. The male audience heartily approves their love by dancing and clapping. The female audience agrees that the hero is much better than the villain. He sings songs, looks good and sweeps her off the floor. What is love if not that?
Cut to 2019, we are apparently an educated and well-behaved society now. There has been a #MeToo wave and people have started questioning their own behaviour. Boundaries are now being defined; men are finally learning that no means no. There’s hope. And then, there’s Kabir Singh.
The trailer starts with Kabir Singh aka Shahid Kapoor running after the help who works at his house because she broke a glass. It is quite an uncomfortable scene and I sit perplexed as to why the Central Board of Film Certification would even clear it! But well, as Shah Rukh Khan once said, “Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost!” (The movie remains, my friend)
The movie has a great soundtrack. After waiting for many years, finally comes an album that you want to play on loop. But then again, you end up watching the videos! The hero is clearly bullying the girl into spending time with him; the girl is intimidated, disinterested and physically uncomfortable (kudos to Kiara Advani for the right expressions). Yet, there’s a beautiful romantic song being played in the background. WHAT? Since when did bullying become romantic?
The opening scene of the movie shows Kabir asking a girl to undress at knife point. Kabir also slaps his lady love when he’s angry (not surprising). Kabir finds solace in mindless sex and drug abuse. But, it is alright! He is a genius, university topper and a surgeon. He looks good and he REALLY loves the girl. Most importantly, he’s the ‘hero’ of the movie.
The same male audience that we thought had probably learned their lesson is ecstatic again. This is the millennial’s ‘Tere Naam’ with better music and a better hairstyle. The boys know the formula of true love now – ownership. You spot a girl, you call dibs on her and she’s yours. You don’t ask her, you order her – after all, you’ve called dibs on her! You decide where she will sit, who she will befriend and how she will dress – you’ve called dibs on her, right? You can also kiss her before speaking to her even once and she won’t say a thing – you’ve called dibs on her. Because what is love if not that?
Small town girls have finally figured out their Prince Charming. He’s got to be good-looking with the ruffled beard, a college hero who can hit people because you need protection. If he orders you to do something, you do it because he only wants your good as he loves you. If he hits you, you say sorry because he only wants your good and he loves you. It is your duty to keep his anger in check. It is your duty to keep this fully-grown man away from the evils of alcoholism and drug abuse. It is your duty to be his slave because he loves you. And, what is love if not that?
Stupid, woke, single girls who hide their frustration behind feminism will type mindless bullshit on Twitter to hamper your love life. Mind you, Kabir Singh wants you to stay away from girls like these. They’re ugly and sad, they don’t know what true love is. They will die alone and so will you if you listen to them and not abide by his instructions. You need someone who can protect you, guide you, smack your face if you disobey them, choose your friends and drive your life. Because what is love if not that?
Also, I forgot to mention words and phrases like ‘toxic masculinity,’ ‘patriarchy’ and ‘abuse,’ like I said I would. You know why? Because I don’t need to. These terms are known as romance now. I mean, what is love if not that?