For someone who hadn’t spent a single day away from home until I was almost 18, moving to Goa for college had seemed like a daunting step. It had involved leaving a bunch of close friendships in the dust, friendships that had contributed significantly to the being I was, then. It had seemed outright scary at first, unsettling a bit later and had finally left with my head overcome with a sense of excitement. I still remember the day I had landed in Goa for the first time, having enjoyed my life’s first air travel. For someone whose parents had not quite displayed their trust in my abilities, being granted permission to spend my life’s next four years in a place like Goa almost seemed unreal, maybe more for my parents than me.
Nevertheless, there I was. Suddenly, I was amid people from across the country. These people included some of the most talented individuals I had come across, and it did not take too long for the pressure to survive in such an atmosphere to kick in. Though, I was lucky enough to have met people who would soon teach me about the qualities in me. I was lucky enough to make friends in a group that, despite not having a knack for emotional conversations, did teach me how to enjoy my time there. This might come off as a surprise to a lot of people who read this, but for a 17-year-old kid who had always lacked that self-belief, this group of friends had come as a much needed boost.
While I had friends who gave me that boost, my last year on campus saw me interacting rigorously with a newer set of people. These people forced my apolitical privileged self to introspect and unlearn. There have been hours of discussions that I have had with them and it was rare for me to not learning something new from each one of those discussions. This, combined with the fact that I had overwhelmingly involved myself with the workings of a student-run NGO on campus, made me look at how I must use my social capital to contribute to the betterment of those who lack it.
As my time in college progressed, I started to realise that the people around me, including my parents and professors, had come to expect certain choices of me, given my academic records. For a long while, I had bought into that set of expectations and I had viewed myself as someone perfectly fit for the seat that had been carved for me. I had imagined myself contributing to society in a way that was conventional of engineers. Little did I know, that not only would I soon be a part of something that couldn’t be further away from engineering, but I would be loving it too.
For a couple of years then, I had been writing a blog, and that had contributed significantly towards my selection as an editor for Youth Ki Awaaz’ Campus Watch. After becoming a part of this team of extremely talented individuals, I was thrust into an environment of learning that provided me with knowledge in a range of aspects. I learnt how to look for stories. I learnt how to search for and establish appropriate contacts. I learnt how to better develop a hunch and how to pursue relevant channels. Most of all, I learnt how to work with deadlines and that has taught me a lot about myself.
As I look back on those days, I realize how one of the foremost discussions that I used to have with my peers was about the partisanship of the media. Around the same time, there was this new platform that had begun to emerge, Newslaundry, and they had started asking questions that seemed quite on point. I applied for an internship with them right away. I’ll be honest, I was scared out of my wits. Due to the absence of a background in journalism, I was not sure of my writing acumen at all. Luckily, with what I had learnt at Campus Watch, I had managed to write a few pieces that, apparently, did get their attention, and I managed to get through. I was elated and I began looking for accommodation options in Delhi almost instantly.
There I was, again. Almost a full circle from having moved to Goa from Punjab. But, this experience was more formidable than the last one. Now that I think about it, I can see why. The friendships that I had made over high school had lacked the maturity that college had buried in me. My childish self could not realise the bonds we build with people, then, and this had changed this time around. I had grown with these people. I had celebrated with them and I had cried with them. I had spilt my deepest fears and my weirdest insecurities with them and I had still seen them call me a friend at the end of the day.
On my last day on campus, I was greeted by a bunch of people seeing me off, and I had not expected that grand of a gesture at all. As I hugged and met each one of them, I failed to pinpoint a unifying reason that had brought all of them there. All I could do was nod, smile, and make assurances of a future where I would meet them again. Once my ride had started to drift away, I couldn’t help but think about how times would change. And change they did. I have been in Delhi now, for a while. It isn’t as peaceful or homely as Goa, but I think we have the cheap liquor, serene beaches, and people to share them with to blame for that.
I am glad I had some very encouraging people around me. This included everyone from my parents, who supported me with my frankly, very risky venture, to my friends who never stopped with both critique and criticism, to my mentors and fellow writers, who provided me with very important insights. I was lucky enough to be able to take this leap and I really cannot thank everyone involved for that. It scares me to say it, but I’m still not very sure if it is even the right path. But, the fact remains that I was not discouraged from trying it out at the very least.
Maybe, after all of this, that’s what matters. A bunch of people for you to call friends and lean on, every now and then, who’d be there for you to either slap you back to reality, or hold your hand long enough for you to try your dream out. I’m fortunate that I had them.