“With roots secured in the mud
A stem that grows through water
And a flower that lies pristinely above.”
We’ve all heard and read that life ain’t a bed of roses, yet deep inside our hearts, many of us aspire to a life with no hurdles. Life isn’t meant to be a unique uphill journey but is one with crests and troughs. Numerous researches indicate that as human beings, we are innately wired to seek pleasure. And why should we be surprised when our anthropological ancestry is traced back to apes. Though I majored in sociology, cognition and brain functioning have always been of interest to me.
In the modern civilisation, we seek to fulfil higher-order needs much beyond food, sex and shelter as the psychologist Abraham Maslow contends. Therefore, we tend to chase “highs” through our work, activities and relationships—those who are innovative or creative fight against the natural tendency to relax or just be. According to Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs” paradigm, their physiological safety, love and belonging and ego/esteem needs stand fulfilled, and they are somewhere near the apex of the pyramid in the quest to self-actualisation.
In this roller coaster ride called life, we will inevitably face certain “lows” at some point or other. Failures, disappointments, being diagnosed with a terminal or a chronic disease, the loss of a loved one, failing to crack a competitive exam, the stock market crashing, not landing a university of one’s choice, not being promoted, a romantic rejection, being practically broke, not being able to attend one’s favorite concert and the list is practically endless. In situations like these, we must make a conscious effort on our part to not break under trying circumstances and continuously seek inspiration from outside or within.
Often the tough and challenging times carve out the best in us, not to forget that diamonds develop only when excessive heat and pressure fuse together in the Earth’s mantle. Also, rejections and disappointments must not become roadblocks to our dreams and aspirations. I fondly recall my childhood days in Jaipur when my mother used to pen down a quotation she liked once every few days, on a whiteboard facing my bed; one of them has managed to stay with me till date.
“Shoot for the moon.
Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” – Norman Vincent Peale
Some of us perceive failures as major bottlenecks and get unnecessarily bogged down by past mistakes. But, problems no matter how minuscule or gigantic will crop up throughout our lives. As we sail through life, we commit mistakes, and it is but normal as long as we are learning from them and gradually moving forward. Often, opportunities knock on our doors but can be perceived by us as problems as they often come with demands to break from our current habits.
In reality, what we may refer to as “challenges” today can be perceived as opportunities by us in the near future. Trying circumstances bring out our true brilliance and polish our character. We must strive to accomplish at least one or two tasks each day that fill us with happiness, no matter how busy we get. There are enough options for everyone—working out, swimming, cooking, gardening, yoga, meditation, a walk in the park, hair spa, manicure etc. It is fulfilling to follow your hobbies and cultivate a few if you have none.
“Every adversity carries with it the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit.” – Napoleon Hill
Most successful people in different walks of life have their fair share of problems to grapple with, just like anyone else. Probably what sets the outliers apart from the mediocre is the ability continually to fight their inner demons, without losing hope. They stay at the top of their game driven by their urge to excel, undeterred by obstacles.
I believe nature is one of the greatest gifts of God to humankind, not just for the nourishment of our bodies but also of the soul. No matter how stressful a day you’ve had, a brief walk in the park undoes the damage that we often do to ourselves or is done to us by our environment, for instance, at our workplace. The photograph of blooming lotus flowers above was captured by me on a morning stroll in Lodhi Gardens. Some of us are like lotus flowers in a pond, who choose to blossom even within the murky water. For this reason, the lotus flower is considered to be a symbol of purity and awakening in oriental spiritual traditions like Hinduism and Buddhism.
“Water surrounds the lotus flower, but does not wet its petals.”– Gautama Buddha
We, too, have the power to rise above everything that goes against us, to radiate our energies into the world. It only requires us to change for the better, to embody a passion for our work and cultivate resilience to stay rooted in the accomplishment of our purpose. This is definitely not as easy as it sounds, but more like a relentless task, psychologically as well as in terms of action in the here and now. A relentless pursuit for self-mastery and trying to outshine oneself is certainly not everyone’s cup of tea.
I truly believe that we ultimately become sprouts out of thoughts and activities that we engage in for the most part, on an everyday basis. Days add up to weeks, weeks add up to months and subsequently, years. I appreciate how Robin Sharma, a global leadership guru, puts it “All change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end. Everything you now find easy you first found difficult. When you feel like surrendering, continue. Triumph loves the relentless.”
We, millennials, I believe, have set sky-high ambitions for ourselves and aspire to be a cut above the rest. No matter how distant our goal may seem, if we dial in the correct behaviour and mindset, it eases the process. Working on our mindset is definitely vital because our attitude shapes our reality, no wonder they say half the battles are fought in mind. If we cannot visualise ourselves where we want to reach, then it only becomes all the more difficult to reach the desired destination.
Irrespective of where we might be presently situated in our life, we can enhance our life chances if we perceive a world of possibilities, rather than one of problems. In the age of two-minute noodles, one night stands and same-day deliveries, tenacity and diligence become all the more rewarding. In the end, whether we choose to swim or sink is a product of our own volition and not an understandable outcome of circumstances alone. Life is a gift, celebrate it and embrace all the challenges it throws at you with a leap of faith.
A leap of faith is all it takes.
“Be an edifice and not the structure, the structure can fall, but the edifice remains.” –Ayn Rand