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Why Does A Divorced Woman Still Make Our Society Uncomfortable?

Our society has been ruled by men since the beginning of time. It allows men the chance to live life on their own, to make their own choices, but the same rules don’t apply to women. I feel society lives by the rule “men are always right”, but god forbid that women should be right too! Don’t people feel men should always dominate, and women should let themselves be dominated? A man can walk out of marriage whenever he likes but a woman who considers leaving her marriage is questioned and stigmatised, whatever the circumstances. They are expected to suffer silently, even die, rather than get a divorce!

I would say a man doesn’t need permission for anything, a woman needs it for almost everything!

Yet, we consider ourselves educated, pretend that we are making the world a better place for women. We create awareness about freedom for women but every time, when it really matters, we fail to offer freedom to the women around us. How fake is our society, and how fake are we!

Can’t we start a new world? We have adopted so much that is so-called ‘modern‘. Why we can’t adopt a kind of free-living in our society? We argue with others and oppose the idea of torture and the traditional conservative mindset surrounding girls and women. But do we follow it in our personal lives?

There is a saying ‘Charity begins at home’. Then why not follow it in our lives! In school, we are taught that marriage is a sacred institution. But is it still so? In most cases, the meaning of the institution has changed.

Divorce is still a bit of a taboo in our society, especially when it comes to women. But why? Why can’t we come to a mutual understanding that marriage as an institution isn’t really working anymore? Most families continue to see the decision to divorce as the ‘end of the world’. The thing is, they fail to put themselves in the shoes of the people who are actually in an unhappy marriage. I strongly feel divorce can also be a positive word. When a relationship is dead, that doesn’t mean everything is shattered. It can be a fresh start for a better life. If both parties understand that divorce is perhaps the best option they have compared to living in a ‘dead’ relationship, then our world can become a better place. Even if people get divorced, it doesn’t mean that the parties involved become enemies, they can still be friends and be there for each other’s happiness! In most cases though, especially in our country, women cannot walk out of a relationship so easily. Because they are women. But we forget that before women they are also human beings. If a man can walk out of a marriage, then so can a woman. In most cases, due to family pressure, women are unable to take a stand

In my case, I want a divorce because I do not want to lose my self-respect, which I strongly feel is what gives a woman her dignity. I have a daughter aged 5. Everybody I know has advised me to adjust, to not take drastic steps, or, they blame me for quitting too soon. But what do they know? Who are they to tell me whether I am quitting soon or not?

Every day, I try to discuss the issue with my husband, if we both know the relationship is not working then why do we go on, why are we forcing ourselves! Then I pitched the idea. I tell him that just because I want divorce doesn’t mean your relationship with your daughter would end.

I love the fact that in the USA, divorced parents come to an understanding to ensure that their children continue to see them. It is only the husband and the wife that undergo separation. But their equation with their children remains unchanged. The parents perform their responsibilities separately. In this process, both parties get a better life for themselves, plus their children also have a satisfactory life. They understand the situation and support the cause. Why can’t we adopt their thinking if we can adopt their dressing sense and their style of food?

Modernity is reflected in your thinking.

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Now as an MH Fellow with YKA, she’s expanding her impressive scope of work further by launching a campaign to facilitate the process of ensuring better menstrual health and SRH services for women residing in correctional homes in West Bengal. The campaign will entail an independent study to take stalk of the present conditions of MHM in correctional homes across the state and use its findings to build public support and political will to take the necessary action.

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A former Assistant Secretary with the Ministry of Women and Child Development in West Bengal for three months, Lakshmi Bhavya has been championing the cause of menstrual hygiene in her district. By associating herself with the Lalana Campaign, a holistic menstrual hygiene awareness campaign which is conducted by the Anahat NGO, Lakshmi has been slowly breaking taboos when it comes to periods and menstrual hygiene.

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