In this age of movies like Kabir Singh, people have a very different idea of what love is and what love should be. I often see people telling each other or writing on social media that “it’s just a movie” or “watch it for entertainment and don’t use your brain”.
It is because of these people that actors with zero acting skills are making big bucks. Firstly we need to understand that movies represent the society in which we live. Be it Hollywood, Bollywood or any other Wood. They also set a norm which people will follow. Haven’t you heard that saying, “Filmein Samaj ka aaiena hoti hain” (movies mirror society)?
Movies and TV series are a reflection of what we are and what we believe. TV soaps which show ‘adarsh naari‘ (ideal girl) in saari, ‘sindoor‘ and ‘gajra‘ (flower garland worn in the hair) will show ‘bigdai ladki'(‘spoilt’ girl) in jeans and skirts, smoking pot, because that is the definition we have in our minds and they just play with our psychology to gain TRPs.
Sometimes they also know our needs and desires and feed us exactly that but slightly away from reality. The biggest example of this is Pornography, which has completely destroyed our idea of sex. Believe it or not, this is the truth, we all are affected by this terminology.
Now, I have not been the most romantic man around who has tons of experience of relationships but I do know that the love which movies portray today, is not love, but just based on desires. When I fell in love a couple of months back I was mesmerised by this feeling. To be honest, it took me a month to realise that I am really in love.
She does not have a single quality which I used to think that my ‘ideal girl’ would have. And let me tell you that we are not together, we are not dating, she may have a boyfriend, she is definitely not interested in me and I am not drinking alcohol or smoking 3 packs of cigarettes!
When I fell in love, I found out something that was not taught to me anywhere. Not by my parents, because, let’s be honest, parents don’t teach us about love. Hence, we all are dependent on technology to tell us how we should feel and distinguish between right and wrong. So when I fell in love, I observed a change in my pattern of life. I became happier than I was. I mean she did take away my sleep by a couple of hours but the hours I sleep are much more comforting than earlier.
When I fell in love I got to know a certain aspect of my personality which I didn’t know was in existence. I used to think of myself as a dull human being who can never love or worst who didn’t know love. Now am I the only one who understands love and everyone else is dumb? I will say no, but I will call myself lucky because these stupid love stories failed to indoctrinate me. I have never watched movies like Kabir Singh or any other similar movie which portrays love as everything other than love.
For me, love is not ‘Janam Janam ka sath‘ (together in every lifetime) or ‘Agar tum meri nahi hui to kisi ki nahi ho sakti’ (if you are not with me, you can’t be with anyone else). I think it is bad movies that portray such a criminal mentality.
Who knows if I got together with that girl, we may have to break up in 1 month because we are not compatible! Does that mean my love for her was false? We need to educate ourselves to the real idea of love and need to understand that sometimes no matter how much you like the other person you have to part ways.
If love is not making you a better person, love is not changing your personality and most importantly love is not making you happy then maybe it’s not love. Because if it gives you heartache or pain and makes you sad then you need to reconsider your definition of love. Love is not about being together, it’s just about love and it has a different definition for everyone because everyone is different. Always remember my friend Love does not need fulfilment desire does.