It was July, and I had made up my mind to take a career break. But the decision was yet to be taken.
I wanted to do so much, explore a lot, try out different things, learn more, for which I was either not finding enough time, or was simply dragging on with my routine life. From learning new languages to cooking, from sports to teaching, from books to travelling, I wanted to discover life, and this seemed like a good time to take the plunge.
I wanted to take the road less travelled, but there were so many stakeholders, so many components, so many steps. There were, at once, so many things in my mind, and it was overwhelming. I struggled initially, digressed multiple times, felt elated a few times, but was able to translate my thought to action, albeit with a bit of support. Once you start thinking about taking that decision, the steps start forming, first in your mind, and then on paper.
Where You Start Is Where You End
The first time the thought of a career break came to my mind was in response to a question one of my mentors asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
It is a standard career question, asked in so many entrances, interviews, training programs. As an HR professional, I myself had asked others the same question multiple times. I even had a ready answer for so many years, which I used to keep refining and/or updating. And yet, when my mentor changed the context from ‘the organisation’ to ‘life’, the answer collapsed. I was blank. For the first time in so many years, I was blank.
And that is very unlike me. I have always had a response or the projection of it. This was unfamiliar territory. What next? As I stumbled my way through answering the question, went through so many options, I realized, I did not know the answer.
I needed to find out.
But I did know what was not the answer. Being in the corporate scenario was definitely not the answer for me. The corporate culture brought a sense of stability and achievement, yet also a lack of risk and fulfilment. I had dabbled with the question of whether I should stick around in the corporate environment or not, at the start of my career, and this time, I had a clearer idea. I am not discounting the corporate life forever, but at this stage, I wanted to do much more, explore, learn, fail and discover.
And I took my first step in that direction.
Be True To Yourself
Stating the obvious here—the single most important stakeholder in this whole decision is yourself! Call it self-actualization or self-realization or a vision statement; the ‘self’ has to be clear. There can be no half-heartedness, fogginess in this step and the best way to get that clarity is to ask yourself,
“Why do I want to take a career break?”
For me, it was about discovery.
Many self-awareness books (whatever few I could go through) have a maxim or two, “doing what you are good at will give you happiness”, “find the overlap between what you are good at and what you enjoy doing, and that’s your direction”.
I had been reasonably happy at my job, the work I was doing, the people around me, but I couldn’t just keep doing ‘something’. There may yet be other maxims out there, but for me, they were not exciting enough. Should I continue to do something that I was good at and would that make me happy?
You have to find the answer honestly. But then don’t just stop at the first answer, delve deeper. Ask yourself further questions and connect them to the main question.
Over the years, I had undertaken, for lack of a better superlative, a journey towards self-discovery, through various tools and discussions and identified passions, strengths, inspirations, motivations. So I had clarity and direction.
And I took a step towards discovery.
You Need A Partner In Crime
Neither are you taking the decision alone, nor do you have to go through the journey on your own. Or rather, you shouldn’t. I am not talking about a support system of family and friends, whom you can depend on, talk to, discuss or just depend on, although that is also very important.
But it is critical to have a partner in crime, and/or an accomplice, who has a say in the matter and is impacted by the decision. In my case, I had two.
My co-traveller and the person who inspires me the most, my wife and my biggest teacher in life and the person I look up to the most, my father.
I will not write too much about them here (maybe later), for I can fill pages and yet, a lot will still be left unsaid. In a nutshell, both of them have played a most crucial role in me being able to go ahead with this decision and take this journey. From questioning me to motivating me to support me in keeping me on track, these two stood behind me like pillars.
Their nature is complementary to mine in most aspects and has played a critical balancing role for me, both mentally and emotionally.
And so, I had conductors for my journey, to show me the way, to direct me.
Back of the paper calculations won’t work.
Financials are crucial. Very, very crucial. And it cannot work by just being miserly.
I did not have huge savings, but enough to clear any and all debts or loans. That was something I was able to work out. I had made mistakes earlier in my career. I took a car loan before I started a SIP. I took a credit card before I had invested in long term savings.
But I had thankfully realized this and started investing in different instruments. I could come out with a zero base. (Though I did get a surprise bonus while on break).
On the other end of the spectrum, I did not have a lavish lifestyle, but enough to warrant some optimization. We get attuned to a particular lifestyle, and after 30 years, you can only change so much. This is where the stability of corporate life becomes the biggest barrier to break through. We get comfortable with the salary cycle and align our needs and expenses accordingly. A yearly appreciation of this amount helps us convince ourselves that we are growing every year, and we add hobbies and activities to support this paradigm.
But there are ways and means to cut the fluff, and yet continue to sustain and enhance one’s lifestyle. I realised that I only needed as much. This realisation helped me make a conscious decision to identify and cut down the excess. From cable to broadband connection, household to ‘miscellaneous expenses’, I evaluated everything and was able to actually save. (In an ideal world, I would have done this irrespective of whether or not I chose to do away with the frills and fancies!)
And of course, a steady income of the partner and family support are part of that equation. The expectations need to be very clearly understood. But the left and right side were inching towards being one.
And my journey had wheels.
Timing Is Not Everything
But it is important. It is important that at least some of the above mentioned points work. And for me, they did.
Plans don’t just fall into place; the pieces have to be fitted in, rather like a puzzle. They have to be identified, cajoled and linked to identifying the best course. I had to consider anything, and everything concerning timelines, pre and post the decision.
Yet, it may never feel like the right time. Many people I have spoken to about it get stuck with the timing. That breeds reluctance, which only grows. Once you have had the thought, it’s important to take the plunge soon. Otherwise, you are stuck with that thought and are unable to give a hundred per cent to your current job.
Throughout my 30 years of existence, I had broadly conformed to the regular path. I was among the toppers in middle school, reasonably passed both my boards with distinction, got into a decent engineering college, and then into a business school for post graduation, and finally ended up in a great company where I grew to be a functional leader. I soon married my ‘college sweet-heart’ (though she’ll kill me for mentioning it like this!), and got kinda settled.
If not now, then when?
My emotional and mental state dictated a time frame, my support system and financial state narrowed it down.
And my journey had a date.
‘Have Courage’ Is An Understatement
Every person (well, almost) I discussed my decision with, not only questioned it but also had ten reasons why I should not do it. Many of those reasons were logical, even. And while working through the process, a modicum of self-doubt kept creeping in.
Was it the right thing for my career? What will I do? Am I wasting my potential? How will I manage financially? Was I being unfair to my family, and especially, my partner? How would I explain it to friends, acquaintances, people I meet? Was I being selfish?
And I did not have all the answers, at first. But I trusted the process.
If you have honestly answered to yourself ‘why you want to do this’, you should have reasonable conviction in your thoughts and responses. Conviction is a good first step, but it only takes you so far. That is where courage comes in.
Courage to not have all the right answers immediately. Courage to not even know all the right questions. Courage to defend your decision in front of the mirror. Courage to sometimes not have a clear direction in mind. Courage to be ready to fail. Courage to just be yourself.
And my journey had an engine.
Finally
All these questions and all these thoughts helped me not only to act on my thought but gave me some clarity about the journey as well.
Family, friends, mentors, company, career, lifestyle, timelines, finances, interests—all factors played an important role in the decision to take a career break and the planning involved.
I had been reasonably happy in my life, family, friends, career, and without regrets. But what next? “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?”
For me, the well-trodden path was not enticing enough.
For me, the above process worked, and I was able to take the plunge.
Did I miss a crucial step in the process? Did you have a different process? Are you undergoing the decision process yourself?
Comment or write to me and we can discuss.
Originally published on medium.