We Indians are a unique breed. We have achieved the highest levels of success/money and fame all over the world. But we just can’t get over some of our quintessential Indian eccentricities. So even if we are in the best of the malls or hotels in any part of the world, we like to show off our desi traits irrespective of the fact that it might be considered as uncivilized or even gross sometimes. But we don’t give a damn and we carry on.
I don’t think its bad at all. Its what makes us Indians. But thinking from a third perspective, this might look a little irritating. Below are some of the most illogical and annoying Indian behaviors which only we Indians can do. Enjoy!
Note: No offense towards any person living or dead. This is written just for humour.
1) Ask for free curry leaves and coriander to vegetable seller.
We are always looking for some cheap and free “maal” (goods).
2) Take pictures and selfies in the changing room of malls.
We can’t afford to actually shop, so we take a selfie and show off to our friends.
3) Keeping the toilet seat wet. In fact, splashing water everywhere on the seat once used.
Bhai sahab, aapke baad bhi koi toilet use karne wala hai. (Someone else will use the toilet once you’re done)
4) Leaving uneaten curry leaves, chicken bones, chillies, peanuts and similar “unchewable” things in the plate after a meal.
Whether it is poha, biryani or sambar – we leave these tidbits on the plate and don’t throw them in the dustbins. Bechari (hapless) maids or the women of the house have to clean it later.
5) Pouring used chai patti (tea leaves) in the kitchen sink.
Hey Ram! We have no right to complain about the cockroaches later.
6) Breaking the traffic rules, using the footpath to avoid the traffic, arguing with the cops if caught.
This is called the Indian Jugaad. And surprisingly, the cops agree in just a 100 bucks!
7) Using the office as an unofficial internet café.
We work less and surf more. And we will not accept this publicly.
8) Asking the server to pack leftover curry/pizza pieces and eat the same the next morning.
Hum pura paisa vasool karte hai (We’re determined to make sure each rupee is utilised). Especially if it’s a five-star hotel.
9) Address lecturers/professors with first names but call the senior students “Sir” and “Madam.”
So, Professor Deshpande is “that guy” and a senior in the class named Bunty is “Bunty Singh Sir.” This might be a quintessential engineering trait.
10) Take food home from a “Durga mandap” or “Ganpati bhandara” as prasad for the “elders.”
Elders? What a rubbish excuse! We are the biggest bhukkads (foodies). We are always looking for opportunities to get “fokat ka khana” (free food).
11) Don’t leave a tip but empty the bowl of “saunf” (anise) into your purse.
We think it’s our birthright to do so. If the server looks disgustingly at us – we flash our best smiles and give them a royal ignore.
12) Use nails/hooks to hang shirts/trousers/t-shirts and TOWELS!
Money can’t buy etiquette. Period.
13) Fart, burp, scratch private parts in any public place – even in the air-conditioned conference rooms. Sometimes even gargle loudly in hotels. This is especially true for the “Bharatiya Mard.”
90% of the men reading this still don’t think any of this is wrong. 100% of the women reading this agree with me. Bet?
14) Ask for complimentary peanuts/shev/chakli as a “chakna” even if the five-star restaurant has served the best chicken tikka as a starter.
We are Indians and we can be cheap often.
15) Lastly, take away/loot/steal all the free samples of shampoo, towels, napkins, cosmetics, hairdryer, food, anything provided in the foreign hotels. Unfortunately if caught, propose to pay for the prices of the stolen products. If still the manager does not calm down, take him in the corner and BRIBE him.
Money can’t even buy class! Sigh!