My family has never been good to me. Both my parents are two different personalities, just living with each other.
All my childhood, I have seen my father beat my mom, ruthlessly. Eventually, she became strong and stopped it somehow. But it didn’t stop there as he continued to control her verbally and financially. When we grew up, he tried to control us using money method by not paying our fee. We grew up hating him more and more. My mother was in a revenge mode because he had destroyed 20 years of her adulthood, and treated her like a monster when she was pregnant, by him only. All my adolescence has gone in seeing violence, with our father threatening us to the core saying he won’t even feed us.
Our Indian system is such that we aren’t really able to earn anything unless we graduate. Is it our mistake that we cannot even sustain ourselves? I have an elder sibling who is much weaker than me. We continuously ask each other “is it a sin that we were born? Did we ask you to give us birth?” If we had a choice, surely we would have decided to die in our mother’s womb rather than seeing all this.
He acts like he is the wisest man around and how good he is. I have seen people talking about how lucky we are to have a father like him. We pity them as those intellectual people have failed to recognize a monster in disguise.
My father is planning to do something that can bring us on the road without food or anything. Now, I don’t even worry about whatever happens. I don’t care because I am earning enough to sustain myself, but not my mother or sister. Honestly, it’s an irony that my father is in a government job, and he earns quite well between 1.2 lakh to 1.5 lakh per month, and we still have to beg him to pay our fee or provide us with food. We have passed 20 years of our life like this and have seen worse. So now, whatever comes we are ready for that.
Again, if we had a choice, we would have preferred to die even before coming into this world.