While she sits there curled up with a pillow, occasionally shrieking at every other person, accustomed to this being normal, he chooses to pass by with the car keys and a laptop hung on his shoulder, shrugging with three simple words escaping his mouth – “it’s just blood.” This is what needs to change.
Menstruation is not just the shedding of blood from the lining of the uterus, it is also about the associated pain which often transforms into physical strain. The contractions in the muscles of the abdomen makes one often feel a shooting pain, and this is one of the crucial things that men need to grow sensitised to.
Men have been known to be unaware about menstruation and premenstrual syndrome. Mostly, when it comes to periods, men don’t even know what they don’t know. Hence begins the chain of being insensitive towards their menstruating partner, almost as if the world of menstruation continues to be a mystery for the people who haven’t experienced it. It is a big, red secret that half the world’s population endure silently, while the other half remains in blissful ignorance. Whereas, the reality is that the attitude of the non-menstruating partner makes a world of a difference.
The problem begins with the thinking. As women, we’ve always been socialised into thinking that periods are exclusively a female issue. This perpetuates the belief that it ultimately doesn’t and will never affect men, thus eliminating an entire gender from the conversation.
I have always felt that men should be familiar with the pain, stress, and other hormonal changes that accompany menstruation. They should not avoid the need for a sudden chocolate binge, or inexplicable tears, or the requirement for painkillers because menstruation needs to be an inclusive conversation. This is how I believe the unwillingness affects us:
1) A person insensitive to periods will never understand the concept of period poverty and the need to have safe and healthy periods in healthy surroundings, hence continuing the chain of inability to explain those less privileged about the necessity of address proper menstrual hygiene.
2) A non-menstruating partner would never understand the #FreePeriods protest or will never known the gravity of eliminating the tax on tampons and pads as they are nothing but basic necessities.
3) A non-menstruating partner who remains unaware would never be able to empathise or be able to help their menstruating partner through the biological process they go through every month.
One out of five young women have been bullied for periods and that’s exactly what needs to change for the upcoming generation. Hence, discussing the need for non-menstruating partners to understand the well-being of their partners who menstruate is not only a matter of knowledge but also a matter of erasing the idea of constrictive gender spheres.
An open dialogue must be allowed to blossom without compromising what our position is in society: women who bleed through their vaginas with a right to tomorrow.