“I am stocking up gifts for my cousin for her first period. She is in 6th standard, and I just can’t wait for her day,” my friend Swati messaged me one day.
I was a little perplexed! Gifts… periods… how do these two connect?
Being a Malayali, she told me that in various families in Kerala and other parts of South India, menarche is actually celebrated! When a girl gets her first period, her mother, aunts and elder sisters shower her with gifts. She is fed sweets and gifted newly purchased gold. It is done to mark the onset of her womanhood. I wasn’t aware of this tradition. In North Indian families, when a girl starts her period, she is given period-related advise by her mother, and mind you, only by the mother; the rest is the usual hush-hush affair.
“It is so heartwarming to know about this custom. A girl would welcome her womanhood with open arms, and she would feel so comfortable.” I told my friend.
“Yes, but post this, it is the usual hush-hush. Girls aren’t allowed to visit temples or even fast.” Swati said.
I was confused and disheartened. How was it that on the one hand, people are welcoming a girl’s womanhood, and on the other hand, the signs of her womanhood make her impure? It is so mentally and physically exhausting for a girl to be hiding her pain five days a month for almost 40 years of her life. More than the physical pain, it is the mental trauma a girl has to go through. I remember a friend telling me that since the washroom in her office was close to where the men sat, it was very awkward to go to and fro the washroom hiding pads in her trousers. Why do periods become such a shame for women?
A lot has been said and discussed on the secrecy of periods, about treating women as impure, about not letting them enter temples and holy places, and so on. But today, I ask you, what is the one step you are taking to make periods less embarrassing for women?
Being a girl, have you ever tried talking about periods with your guy friends or your brothers? Have you questioned your local priest about the restriction on entering temples? Have you asked your mom the reason why you can’t fast if you are bleeding? There are a lot of changemakers already doing their bit. Media is gearing up to empower women to be at par with men. But are we, women, ready to be empowered?
Once we get into the habit of living with pain, people will get used to us doing that. Once we start addressing this pain and being more open about what is a natural, biological process for women, only then, will people start giving importance to what is important for us? Be the change you want to see in the world! If you are having menstrual cramps, don’t say you are sick. Periods don’t make a woman sick; it cleanses her body’s blood. If you have to take a pad to the washroom, do not hesitate, it is just a pad, not drugs! If you need rest during your periods, shut down your laptop, switch off the lights and breathe!
It is YOU who is responsible for your body and no one else. Tell them that you love your body and you appreciate every part of it, and only then will they learn to appreciate you!