*Disclaimer: This article is intended to be a satire.
Hey! How are you all? How is the weather out there? Let me ask this specifically of Delhiites? How are the weather Gods treating you? After all, Delhi’s AQI is broke all records, as well as topped all the prime time news slots. So, I am curious to know the mango peoples’ verdict here.
Are you so accustomed to tying up your scarves or wearing your anti-pollution masks or your chick aviators, and plugging in your headphones, that the weather does not seem to bother you anymore? I hope all your modular chimneys, air and water purifiers, and detox diets are giving you good results.
After all, why wouldn’t they? We are trying desperately to be number one in everything. And that is the sole reason we are breaking our own records, whether it’s the hottest day, the coldest day, the extra rainfall or no rainfall. We are proudly, very very proudly, surpassing our own records.
See I will tell you a secret; a hushed secret. Please keep it to yourself. The Amazon burning or the Antarctic melting or the most recent story of 52kgs waste found in a cow’s stomach; this is all a hoax. These are just childish, juvenile techniques to trick our minds. The environmentalists, the researchers, the meteorological department; in fact, all the people out there in the entire world, who are trying to create awareness on protecting the environment, are all conmen, who have lots of spare time. It is my earnest request; please don’t fall into their traps.
After all, isn’t it routine for us? This year, the burning of forests or flooding of rivers or deforestation or water scarcity or declining of fossil fuels or near extinction of rare species are on the rise. But you and I both know that there is nothing to worry about. We will do some extra rituals, some extra prayers, deposit some extra cents in the temple boxes, carry out some extra ‘yagyas’ (worship, offering) and ‘mahayagyas’, and all this will be taken care of. This is no big deal for us. Correct? Ya. It is so simple. Why break our heads over something as trivial as the climate and the environment, which we live in? Why not rather watch some documentaries about this on Netflix or Hotstar? That will be more beneficial.
All the statistical data regarding the detrimental effect of plastics on our marine world and our scenic beauty spots is rubbish. Anyone can make a pie chart and a PowerPoint presentation with a click. (I am a tech disaster but even I can make such presentations.) In fact, all the photographs showing birds mistakenly feeding cigarette butts to their young ones, and fishes failing to distinguish between their food and the plastic trash being thrown away in oceans are all photoshopped. Anything and everything is possible in our tech world after all.
More so, the metro cities turning into gas cylinders with zero visibility and people involuntarily inhaling smoke equivalent to smoking 30- 40 cigarettes a day is also senseless. After all, we have super ultra-tech lungs and bodies which are so efficiently resilient and pretty immune to everything. And by everything I mean smoke, pollution, chemically and genetically modified fruits and vegetables, untimely rains and droughts, water scarcity, underground water levels going down constantly; just simply everything.
We are above all this. We have artificial foods, multivitamins, protein powders, sunblocks, 3-4 layers anti-pollution masks, air detoxifiers etc., to shield ourselves from all the stuff I mentioned above.
To top it all, the studies on air and noise pollution affecting the unborn babies in the womb or premature or complicated births are all a farce.
And the slowly setting trend of antinatalism is just another hashtag, which will have a short-lived lifespan, like any other hashtag. It should be simply treated as just another hashtag, and not as an eye-opener of the insensitivity we have harvested towards our sustainable ecological existence, so much so, that people are deciding against procreation altogether.
Creating awareness about saving trees, stopping the usage of single-use plastics, segregating wastes for their proper disposal, all in all curbing carbon emissions, and saving water, just looks good in the posters and paintings made by school children, and befits very well in their dramas and plays. It is not meant for adults. After all, you have 1001 other things to worry about, including helping or drawing those awareness charts and posters for your kids, because you want them to win any competition they participate in. I am sure that you will gather all the information and resources to make a perfect model for your child. Yes or no?
Surprisingly, I have seen numerous such printouts of ‘why save the environment’, ‘the importance of trees’ and ‘water scarcity’ at the printer tables of the corporate offices, where I have worked. My colleagues and the proud parents of the children who might have won those competitions used to print these out, before leaving the office.
I can carry on with my satire, but that won’t help much, because firstly, not many of us have this much time to read such a long article. Secondly, my intention is to shake you, wake you, push you, pull you, and make you realise that before carbon emissions are uncontrollably on a rise, before air becomes more poisonous, and the water becomes more acidic, and noises become more deafening; please start doing your part, not for anyone else, but for yourselves, and your families.
Have a heart, people. Please have a heart for yourself, your fellow beings, and your future generations.
We can still make a change and can prevent further damage if not reverse it. Yes, we can.