Today, my baby is three-months-old. I am busy choosing a dress for her, after all, it’s time to celebrate. My world revolves around my husband and my 3-month-old baby.
Last week I was feeling rather depressed and had a sense of guilt from not doing anything productive. Before the baby was born, my life was going in a different direction, with different priorities, my life was more mine. Being a working professional and managing the house with my husband was not as difficult as it was adventurous! The weekdays were fun-filled, with friends, work, and lovely evenings spent with the husband. Weekends were always relaxing, romantic and adventurous. But life has changed completely after the birth of the baby.
In these three months, I have felt privileged, in bliss, and enjoyed being a new mother. My days have revolved around this new entry in my life and every bit of time spent with the new one has altogether been a different experience, whether it’s feeding, massaging, playing, or giving her a bath. All these chores added fun and love in my daily routine.
But yes, sometimes, the need for a job, the feeling of not doing anything fruitful, not having any ‘me time’ does irk me. Sometimes I feel very depressed and restricted, but the very next moment when I see my baby I feel refreshed and full of positive energy, and I feel guilty for feeling depressed in the first place.
One day I decided to have a discussion with my husband about these strange feelings I was having. As a mother, I don’t want to create any negative vibes near my child, given that the feeling is only on my part. My husband advised me to have some time for myself. He told me, “Go to the spa/parlour and get refreshed and pamper yourself”. I liked the idea somewhat. But I agreed not to go out, and I booked an appointment with the beauty salon to send someone to my home through some app.
The lady from the beauty salon reached my home at a specified time. We selected the time slot during which my baby mostly sleeps. My husband told me, “No worries, you enjoy. I will take care of her and anyway, you are at home only. “ During the time that the lady was getting things ready, I was kept checking on my baby. In the two and half hours that the salon lady was there, I checked on her more than 5-6 times, even though my husband was there. Spending time with her or just checking on her brought me internal peace.
That day I realised, a newborn mother might not just require ‘me time’, as there might not be ‘me time’ for her, there is ‘us time’. A helping hand is required, and I feel that 30 minutes of alone time may solve the problem. When a baby is born, a mother is also born with multiple challenges ahead, multiple roles to play and altogether different or changed priorities, a mother who needs just a little care, a bit of pampering and lots of love.