As a doctor, while advocating human well-being and emotions I realise that every relationship that we share with someone impacts us. Close relationships make our foundation. We are woven in these bonds deeply, and like anything which is woven, it is painful to separate. So hurt and pain is inevitable and sometimes need deeper healing. Avoiding these emotions can be unhealthy because emotional trauma is invisible hurt awaiting our attention.
Divorce, loss of a loved one, betrayal, or losing close friends: all of them mark an invisible trauma that can’t be ignored. Some take months, some years. Some distract themselves, some stay socially aloof, some people cannot handle the loneliness that these losses bring with them.
Sometimes due to social burdens and responsibilities, one can not even acknowledge these invisible wounds. Our brain then gravitates focus on the places where healing is required. What constantly troubles us is what requires most of our attention.
These are stages of grief:
Stage 1: Shock: This is a stage of disbelief which makes our survival possible in some way.
Stage 2: Denial: When we refuse to admit that there is loss and pretending it never happened.
Stage 3: Anger: When we are angry with having to undergo everything and why it happened to us.
Stage 4: Bargaining: This is a stage of negotiation, we try to counter the thoughts which cause us to feel depressed.
Stage 5: Depression: When we feel there is no way out of sadness. Appetite changes, sleep pattern changes, mood changes, etc.
Stage 6: Acceptance: This is the stage when we accept our reality and try to seek help.
Understanding these patterns helps us to understand our emotions as an individual. This understanding gives us a clearer picture of what stage we are dealing with. And once we accept and realise the fact that we need help and finally decide to overcome the hurt anyway, we choose to make way for our healing and a brighter future.
About the author: The author is a medical professional and the founder of WellbeingTriangle.