Here’s How I Dealt With Depression And Self-Doubt

It was the year 2013, and I’d just completed my school education. I was very happy about my performance in the final exams. Despite having bad health, I had given my best and tried to secure as high as I could.

Though I am someone who never looks on getting good marks, I did it for my family and the so-called society. I was not interested in further studies and wanted to start something of my own. But I knew that a graduation degree is something that needs to be completed on the safe side.

So, just like the others, I started looking for colleges for my plan B, my degree. Everything was going fine, and I was confident enough about getting good marks and being accepted to a college I wanted. So, I filled the forms and started preparing for the university entrance exams.

But life never wanted to go this way, and soon, things started to change. My father had to leave the job due to some issues, though he tried hard to stay. It was a good job, which gave us financial stability we never saw during our childhood. He was working hard and also giving them good results, but the office politics, you know, is not something, which considers anyone’s hard-work or potential.

And due to the job loss, everything turned bad. My parents started having fights about little things. I would never blame them for this—as they were tensed for our future, about how they will manage the expenses. My father started looking for jobs, but the job market is competitive, and even the ones he had helped in the past turned his hopes down.

This situation put a lot of stress on me. I was unable to concentrate on my exam preparations. This took my chance of getting an admission in a good college away, which, in turn, added to my stress and anxiety.

And the clashes between my parents started to increase day by day. All I wanted at that time was to get away from the house to take a breath of relief. Just because of this, I took admission in a college that’s not even close to being called a college. But, as I wanted to go away from the house and was not in a state to make a decision, I chose it. This was the worst decision of my life, and I paid for it.

The college was in a rural area; there were no resources to make me feel good. I had to walk five kms each day to get to the college, and slowly, all these things moved me to a state of depression. This  is is worst for men as no one looks for the symptoms men show in depression. Nobody feels that a happy person could be hiding so many things in his mind.

But I was strong enough to deal with things. I shared all these situations with my friends, only a few. Some ignored, but others helped me in getting rid of all the bad thoughts and negativity. Soon, I started my own Instagram account, where I wrote poems, quotes and all. People started loving the content, and I got both promotion and friends to talk to.

The change in my attitude also changed the bad situations around me. My father got a job, and it was better than the one that he had earlier. Also, I was not confident enough—because all my friends were in a better college than me, and they were living a better life. But my will to take things in a good way led me to a stage that now, I and my friends came at the same level.

And soon, I started doing social media marketing for others and training them with growth tricks that I used for my own Instagram channel.  Now, I am working on things I love and earning a lot better than so many of my friends.

So, this was my story about how I fought depression and self-doubt. I hope it would help someone in getting out of that state.

Do share your feedback.

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