On a sunny morning in the February winter, she stepped out for a cigarette. The collars of her jacket fell back on her shoulders, with each leap she took towards her haunt, the tea stall. She had just left her job and was in her home town for some healing.
Some blamed her resignation on her depression, which she suffered from for over two months following her break up. As eyes gazed upon a lone girl in the tea stall, she consciously smoked away her prospects of an arranged marriage.
She opened her Instagram for a quick peek, only to realize it was “The Chocolate Day.” A month ago, she was dreadful about spending the month of romance all alone. Pictures of chocolates triggered something in her.
It was not self-pity, she had conquered it days ago. It was a craving, not for chocolate, but an everyday celebration. As she took the last drag, she decided the direction of her next steps. Eyes still gazed upon her, as she made her way into the bakery, and purchased her favourite dark chocolates.
If you are one of those girls or gay men not getting any gifts this valentines week, this article is an ode to you! Those who have received the gifts; or not receiving them is sad, here is something important for you too.
Misconceptions What we get when we misunderstand attachments for love in Pain. Wrongful attachments are the reason for all the sufferings people undergo in the name of love. Love is what saves people, brings out best in people, and builds a better world. Self-love is love too. #loveislove
Some might find relief in the fact that misunderstanding love is not a problem of a specific generation. We are barely 2 or 3 decades into the new age of information technology. The struggles are the same over the generations; only have been amplified by digital technology. We see them more; we tend to think that the problem is with Gen Y or Z.
Unhealthy Attachments Unhealthy attachments are those on which we completely rely on, for our happiness. He does this, and you are happy, she does that, and you are sad.
The instability of unhealthy attachments echoes in our timelines and newsfeeds. Whether it is a temporary pleasure of heart or the displeasures of heartbreak, we keep seeing them all over. We tend to perceive love as a rose with thorns. We end up giving in to the toxicity that comes with the attachment with our partners. To keep getting the chocolates, we accept the poison too. Here is the rejuvenating fact- it does not have to be this way!
The Cure We are magical beings with consciousness; we can cure our sufferings just by acknowledging them. By no means, I am proposing that a person who is suffering from mental health disorders like depression can cure it by mere acknowledgment Acknowledgment for Cure is for those who have overcome it already, or have not fallen sick it. I am proposing that if you are one who base your happiness on the number chocolates you got on the chocolate day, or on whether you were given a rose or not, you need a stronger base. We will come back to that.
The Journey Each one of us walking on earth is on a journey, and we keep changing with milestones. The change benefits most of us. The other side constant change is that the person on whom we base our happiness, they tend to change either. We may or may not remain their priority tomorrow. That is okay and true for ourselves too. Even better, we know ourselves more than we know others. With our personal growth and progress as a priority, and our inner peace dependent on our actions, we can achieve ever-lasting happiness.
Japanese Strategy for Survival Japan is prone to disasters and is known to have devised many strategies for survival. One of them is that every person is responsible for their safety at the onset of unfortunate events. The base of the strategy is the faith that everyone knows how to get help, and where to take shelter. The Japanese system is very particular about teaching these things to the kids. Everyone thus knows the tricks and protect themselves. Thus, when a tsunami arrives, run for your life, your friends are doing that too. Everyone is saved.
Coming back to what the base should be, there cannot be a firmer base than your self! Getting gifts, hugs, and kisses or not, the key is with ourselves. Even if some of us have a partner to go out on a date, the personal commitment to ourselves must be fulfilled.
So take some time out. Go on an alone date, buy food that satisfies you. You are free to take in temporary lovers (fairly) if that is what pleases you. Let us never abandon our selves for another being (who is probably suffering too). To conclude, lets put this justification for self-love in the following lines by Alfred Tennison in a poem, “The Brook”:
For men may come, and men may go,
But I go on forever.