Writing this might be controversial, but in a world where ‘pseudo-feminism’ exists, I felt I must write this.
Feminism! It is a broad term. We all have our own definitions and constructs of feminism. For me, it means equality. In light of some of my recent interactions with varied personalities and whatever has been going on around me, what I have observed on social media, movies, and the likes, everyone seems to be of the opinion that women are far more superior to men! Well, are they really?
India – a country where women are worshiped as ‘Devi‘, instinctively implies equality. Conquering the devil, fighting for the truth and the innate power makes women special, but not superior to men. So, what is it that makes women think they are superior? Is it the society, or is it the ‘liberals’ in the country? We don’t really know. Some claim that women are biologically stronger, if not physiologically, as women can menstruate, bear children, or because women are expected to be poised. I definitely agree with it, women are stronger, but that doesn’t give women the right to trivialise men. Does it?
In a recent TV show, a man was exploited for slapping his girlfriend for cheating on him with five other men. I wonder what the scenario would have been if a girl had slapped a guy who had cheated on her with five other women. A standing ovation. Cheers. Applause. Why? Of course, slapping is not the right thing to do, but is slapping a guy the moral thing to do, when the tables are turned?
I deeply condemn what the guy had done, any act of violence is worth condemnation. As a very firm believer in equality, I am of the opinion that, if it is wrong for a guy to slap the girl, it should be wrong for a girl to slap the guy as well. Cheating with five men, it’s her choice; cheating with five women, the guy has no character or loyalty?
She cheated because he wasn’t available. He cheated because men are dogs? Either both are right, or both are wrong. It is very easy to target men. Why? Because for society, men are never right and women are never wrong. Women want an egalitarian society – for education, for other opportunities; but when it comes to taking the moral grounds, women always and unequivocally want to be favoured.
I sometimes feel ashamed when women use such cards on innocent men.
Who is to blame for it? In a society, where men and women are not treated equally, this has to be a common mindset for almost all individuals. For women, education is a privilege. For men, it is a necessity. Men don’t cry, men are strong. Women always cry, they are weak. Women should get married before 25, men can get married at 30. Driving is a luxury for women, it is a need for men. Women should behave poised, men can be rash. Why?
Equality is one of the six fundamental rights. The constitution of India prohibits discrimination on grounds of race, religion, gender and caste. But do we really follow that? All good on paper, but does it really exist on ground zero? No. Women do feel the need to be respected more than men and think they’re superior to men. I don’t blame the entire womankind, but I do blame our society for creating this imbalance. In rural areas, which is not clearly portrayed, women, are still not given their right to education. We all talk of the modern world, but do we know the challenges in those areas? What is feminism for them? Their right to education, their right to do what they want to do, the freedom to choose their own life. We seem to overlook those aspects, and only focus on the aspects convenient for us.
We have two broad ends here. On one end we have the conservative orthodox mindset which does not consider women as equals and on the other end, we have the liberal and progressive mindset which thinks women are superior. I am luckily brought up in the centre of the spectrum. I believe everyone is equal irrespective of the gender. You give respect, you get respect, regardless of your gender. A woman who does not respect others should not be respected, and a woman who respects everyone should be respected.
Many would define feminism as the freedom to wear short dresses, others would define it by the number of relationships, some would define it as the right to stay out after midnight and others would define it as equal opportunities. For the society to be equal, the outlook has to be modified. Short dresses do not define my strength, a woman could be empowered in a saree; I do not need a number on my relationships to prove that I am a 21st-century woman, a woman is progressive with one loyal relationship. Staying at home does not imply I am unambitious, a woman can stay home and relax, and a woman could work in the office and be the boss.
Women are as strong as men, neither superior to men nor inferior, just as much. Women have been running countries, they’ve been running households and they’ve been carrying themselves effortlessly since time immortal. As for me, I’d say feminism is the freedom to make my own choices in what makes me happy without being judged or looked down upon. I am probably asking too much from society. I do want equality in this very unequal world, where half of the world dominates women and the other half is dominated by women, I hope prosperity prevails!