I remember very vividly how smoke was curling thickly all over the place and how I was feeling completely choked. I was standing outside the temple, waiting for my friends, I remember the cold of the soft drizzle that crawled up my body and the heat of the tears that rolled down my cheeks. Today when I look back to that day, I have a strong urge to laugh uncontrollably about being so sad about such a trivia. I had been exempted from being treated like a goddess! I really wanted to be worshipped , just like my friends. I wanted the priests to light insence sticks for me , I wanted them to wash my feet and paint it with red aalta. I craved for those specially cooked meal of kheer and puri, I wanted the money and the gifts, I wanted them to seek my blessings too! But they did not. They didn’t even allow me inside the temple.
Those were the days we did not know, neither did we care about being revolutionary about breaking menstrual stereotypes. Those were the days we did not care about bringing a change to the society, all that really mattered was the fact that your friends got gifts and money and savouries, which you did not. You just knew that you had been denied the status of a goddess because you had started menstruating! Wondering what godly characteristics your friends who did not get periods yet possessed, but you didn’t! So, instead of accepting this new change in life we obviously learnt to detest it. Let alone the perpetual bleeding for five days , stomach cramps and mood swings , societal customs on it’s part does everything to supplement the sense of disgust in a girl regarding her menstrual cycle.
But I really appreciate the way things are changing now. From hiding the packets of sanitary napkins in the layers of newspapers with yet another coat of black polythene to freely pasting pads with messages on the walls on streets and the tree barks. From hushed discussion with friends in the school days to frankly sharing memes on periods and Aunt Flo!
But I’m afraid , next time when Durga Puja comes , people will still seek those nine “pure” girls , in their colonies for Kanya Puja ! And, there will again be a twelve- something – girl , who won’t take things easy for being denied the status of a goddess. She won’t find much sense in the badass taglines of the sanitary napkin commercials. Neither I guess she’ll be interested in uploading a picture of herself touching a pickle jar on periods, with hashtags like ” breaking the taboo “. But this little discrimination will matter to her, maybe just for a little while, but it will matter.
I don’t really want to make any phenomenal statements but all I want to say is that, things won’t change unless we stop practising such rituals, which are so deeply rooted in our culture.
All the taglines, slogans , hashtags and graffitis won’t really work otherwise.