The word ‘menstruation’ or ‘period’ is no more unfamiliar on Facebook walls and other media outlets. Menstruation is no more stigmatized as far as social media and the mighty internet is considered; and yet, it is talked about in hushed tones in the society at large. Although, I would not say that there has not been any change in the perception of menstruation in the younger generation of men and women (ages 25-35) residing in urban areas. A large number of urban folks can now discuss these issues, albeit in individual discussions with their friends, girlfriends, brother, sisters etcetera. Nevertheless, this is not another write up about how menstruation is a taboo or is no more a taboo. I think the city folks have been analysing that for a long time now, and they form a tiny fraction of the country and the world at large. Let us not wear the caps of analysts and taboo breakers for now. I just simply wish to share the experience of an adolescent girl (me, when I was one) when she first heard about menstruation, and her reaction when she first gets her period.
I was only 10 years old when our school organized a session for all the girls, they made us sit in an auditorium where we were shown footage of – how to wear a pad, the use of pad etcetera. As far as my young mind remembers, they never explained what periods are to these naïve 10-year-old girls; somehow they assumed that we are already aware of ‘menstruation’. All of us were feeling clueless and somewhat awkward after the session, and we could not quite comprehend the meaning of the video. Sure, all of us had seen these sanitary napkin commercials, but we never understood them. I, as a kid, would always assume that why are they spilling ink; why would someone need this? Spilling ink on sanitary napkins really confused me, and I am not even kidding. Somewhere down the line, I did end up relating these to diapers, although there was never ink being spilled on diapers. In addition, my tiny brain did see how these advertisements had young women being featured as the protagonist, and I could not have fathomed the reality in my dreams.
Post this session, a bunch of us went to the washroom and began discussing the underlying reason behind this session. This is when one of the girls (who had 3 elder sisters) told us that –“women bleed from their vagina for a few days in a month, till they turn old”. The 10-year-old me could not even comprehend what my friend had just said, I was so terrified and shocked to hear this that I kept telling myself – “this cannot be true. It is definitely a misunderstanding”. As I went back home, I looked at the sanitary napkin commercials with fear and apprehension, could it be true? Would I have to go through something similar? Would it be painful? Is it because of an injury that is inbuilt; everything seemed upside down at the time.
Eventually, I got busy with my exams, and later as all of us started growing up – the reality became less hazy to all of us. Then all my friends would get their first period, one by one. Here is the thing, this is when I felt like the odd one out and insufficient as all my friends and classmates had got their first period but I was not even close to it. I was, as a 12-year-old, feeling that there is something wrong with my body because everyone else is getting their periods. This pushed me into a fear that there is something wrong with my body, and I felt like I might be reproductively challenged or had a damaged vagina (God, adolescents are pretty clueless!).
When I was 15, I finally did get my first period. My sister was the one who gave me a quick orientation of the same. It was one of the most awkward moments for both of us, but it had to be done. I was finally relieved but not for too long, as I learned about cramps and mood swings, and all other tribulations that accompany this time. I feel this still feels alien to me even though it is a part and parcel of my life. It is, as if, biology wanted to restrict our movement, our thought process and everything else. But I am glad that I am born in an era, in a certain privileged section of the society wherein I can go about all my usual errands. Unfortunately, there are pockets within educated and uneducated classes in our country, wherein the mobility of women is still restricted during menstruation. Justifying the restrictions by misquoting it as a way to give women ‘some rest’ from their daily chores does not seem valid to me by any length of imagination. This is because if someone needs ‘rest’ they should be able to take it, instead of their families imposing restrictions on them and referring to it as ‘favourable’. Everything is about choice and consent.
Having said this, as a 26-year-old woman, I still get annoyed every time I start ‘chumming’ (people tell me that period is a regressive term :P). It is not a pleasant experience, and I do not like discussing it with anyone but a close set of friends who suffer a similar fate. It is accompanied by all the monsters that made me want to gouge my eyes out even as a kid – the unbearable cramps, the constant mood swings and the awful feeling of experiencing this for the nth time in your life. The worst part is that all this occurs to remind you that you are not pregnant, that you are not carrying another human! Like really, to conceive a human baby once or twice or even 7 times in a lifetime – a woman has to go through these painful reminders every month. That’s just brutal!
By these statements, I do not intend to say that ‘menstruation is dirty or polluting’. No, not at all – I am merely stating my experience which may or may not resonate with other women in our society. Even after going through it for the last 8 years, I am not comfortable or I cannot stop criticizing this biological disadvantage that women face (though fortunately, it is not as big a disadvantage for all privileged women like me).