Why Does Break-up Feel Like Ripping Off A Band-aid

In our lifetime, an individual undergoes at least one heartbreak due to the end of a relationship. So, why do we see heartbreaks as a phase that passes with a person moving on? Have we ever thought about why a heartbreak feels like it is the end of the world. Is there more to it than just crying? Whenever we see our friends going through something like this, we advise them to move on and go on other dates. Does going on one date to another really help? Why does moving on feels so heavy?

Falling in love with a person and getting into a relationship with them causes the brain to release excessive amount of oxytocin, also known as love hormone, dopamine and serotonin. The love hormone is responsible for forming social bonds, dopamine is responsible to keep us motivated, and serotonin is responsible for controlling our mood.

A combination of these three together makes us feel the sensation of love, and when that relationship comes to a halt, all of these chemicals become unbalanced. It is more like mixing all kinds of alcohol and waking up the next day with a bad hangover; and we all know how bad a hangover can be. Due to the lack of production of these chemicals, a break-up makes one anxious, depressed or isolated. In order to balance these chemicals, people right after a break-up generally try to jump from one relationship to another, in order to maintain that balance. Hence, people take longer to move on and feel more depressed.

Love is a drug. It changes the chemical balance in our body when it disappears from one’s life, and we undergo withdrawal symptoms. It feels like an alcoholic being asked to quit alcohol. When a person goes off any substance, it impacts their work and social life. People going through a heartbreak are not missing work or school because they want to. It is just that they are going through withdrawal and lack motivation, similar to that of a depressed person.

Heartbreaks not only cause mental agony, but also physical pain. It generally causes pain in the chest or stomach. It feels like a mild wave of pain or like a crushing sensation. Further, when these people remember about their former partners, the emotions they go through impact the part of the brain that is responsible for the sensation of physical pain.

There is more to heartbreaks than we think. People actually suffer from brain activity changes. Hence, it is not just a phase where moving on is easy. Don’t tell people going through a heartbreak to move on, or that time will heal everything. Give them time to grieve. Time does heal things, and with each passing day, things become better. But, the process of grieving is equally important and one should not try to escape. Cry as much as you want, vent out, do what you feel like, but do not try to escape the process. Give time to those going through heartbreaks, some time to accept reality, and then try to help them, but be there when the accepted things have ended.

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