*Trigger Warning: The content may give rise to existential angst and contains references to abuse, child sexual abuse, violence, mental illness and suicidal tendencies.
Are we here merely to exist and struggle even with that?
No one is perfect, it is but a folly to expect anyone to be. Not a child, parent, mentor or teacher, not a politician, a religious leader or a captain of industry and definitely not oneself. We all have our histories of conditioning and trauma albeit in varying degrees and forms. We all have our “demons” to contend with, I wonder though, how many of those demons are truly ours?
We are all assigned an identity at birth: A name, gender, class, caste, race, nationality, religion and belief system. A portfolio, as soon as we arrive on this planet; a role we are expected to play, one that we rarely question. Do we have any say in the matter? Can we choose differently? Can we reject it outright? I believe we can. It is never an easy path to walk down though, it takes a little something from within to rise against the system and show it a gigantic middle finger. A little something I believe we all possess within us. This little something helps us navigate our position through life choosing between conformity and dissent.
Some psychoanalysts have suggested that the act of being born in the very first traumatic experience we endure. Imagine going from the womb, a sanctuary where all our needs of sustenance are met without having to lift a finger; to being squeezed out of a vagina into a noisy, bright, scary world before taking our first breath of “fresh” air. This is my view, qualifies for a traumatic experience, along with the many others we face throughout our lives that need to be acknowledged and dealt with, working on oneself in whichever way one chooses or resonates with, is the need of the hour.
It is the wisdom of the ages to look within, perhaps this means reflecting on one’s nature, questioning our thoughts and beliefs, rights and wrongs, blacks and whites. This is no small feat, it is a herculean task requiring great strength and perseverance. It is easy to point the finger at someone else, a person, a place or a situation. I say this with sensitivity, for some people have had some truly horrifying monsters in their life and I do not mean to place the blame on anyone who has been subjected to abuse of any kind. Unlearning and rebooting is often a painful, scary experience. One that is necessary, whenever the individual is ready.
Understand Your ‘True Self’. It’s Important.
There are many tools available, psychotherapy, mindfulness, meditation, spiritual practice, religious practice, martial arts, poetry, writing, painting, drama, sports, and art among others. Perhaps it would be prudent to find whatever it is that gives expression to our soul for we are all broken people refusing to mend. It is our responsibility as human beings to first understand our self, our true self, whatever that is, for we wreak havoc not only in our own lives but in the lives of everyone connected to us. Our perhaps inaccurate beliefs about our self, relationships, love, faith, sex, body image, food, social structures or pretty much anything and everything shape the way we perceive and interact with the world.
This problem is intensified manifold when we have people unwilling to reflect and look within, in positions of power. When such people refuse to introspect and hold themselves accountable then, we wreak the havoc of our unresolved trauma and beliefs on all those under our influence, creating further systems and structures that enable us to do so; simultaneously giving rise to systems of oppression. This is why I believe the world is in the state it is today.
We have broken people at the helms of industries and nations. Most, blissfully unaware of why they do what they do and the cycle goes on and on and on.
Some lights shine in this darkness, some people who take this challenge on. Who dare to look within and stay there, observing all the rot, fear and love with the same impartial eye. Seeing oneself as a constant ‘work in progress’, striving towards self-actualization. These individuals help maintain the balance between ignorance and truth on the ever-shifting canvas of shadow and light. I write this because I have been stuck with a question for some time now, a question I know many people ask themselves.
Who am I? Why am I here? Merely to exist and to struggle even with that?
Am I this body, the identity assigned to me at birth? Or am I something more? I’d like to believe that there is a way out of this cycle, that there is hope. We have created these systems which are designed to hold us back. We have the power to change them. Capitalism has served its purpose with the industrial revolution, bolstering economic development and raising our standard of living with all sorts of material comfort.
That time is in the past, perhaps a profit-driven, unreasonably competitive economy; institutions that deny us entry without a near-perfect score based on outdated performance measures, a healthcare and education system driven with the tenacity of a business model and all the scaffolding holding up traditional power structures can be questioned. Perhaps, if we begin to value life, nature, our children, employees, and workers. If we value ourselves, prioritizing healthcare, education and leisure time; life would start having more meaning. Perhaps this rat race can be questioned and even, opted out of?
Humanity Is Stuck In A Rut
I believe competition has its place and is healthy when engaged in with the right spirit. What we have now though is not a healthy competition, it is greed and insecurity and fear, it is a cesspool which will drown us all. We have enough resources if used appropriately; to ensure not a single person sleeps hungry. Global Giving estimates that it would cost between $7 billion to $265 billion a year to end world hunger. The United States alone spent an estimated $934 billion on its military in the year 2020-2021. It is time to question ourselves, why do we live this way? In a system that we designed and are extremely unhappy in?
I do not remember the last time I met a person who was happy and content. This is worrying and a glaring red flag that something is very wrong with the way we live. The poor and marginalized suffer the most, the rich are often miserable in their sheets of velvet and silk. This struggle of existence is felt by one and all.
Mental illness and suicide rates are on the rise, according to the WHO there are 800,000 deaths globally due to suicide every year, which translates to one death by suicide every 40 seconds. As if this was not alarming enough, for every adult who has completed suicide there are estimated to be over 20 attempted suicides.
There is enough research and knowledge to point us in the right direction, why do we refuse them? Why do we resist change so much? Are the current circumstances that comfortable?
A recent study revealed that productivity shot up 40% with a 4 day work week.
It is a fact that one of the best preventive measures for sexual abuse and violence is comprehensive sexuality education and sensitization. Yet we do not implement such knowledge. Why? Why do we still have 6 day work weeks with underpaid and overworked people? Why is comprehensive sexuality education not mandatory in all institutions across the world? Especially when we have statistics like this:
“35% of women globally have experienced physical or sexual violence”
“In India, a child is sexually abused every 15 minutes”
It feels like all of humanity is stuck in a rut, in its cycle of trauma, refusing and resisting change with everything it’s got. Scared to lose out on what we have been conditioned to believe is essential. Monetary wealth and power are not essential, although they may come with more than a few privileges. True necessities are natural resources of sustenance like water, oxygen, food, sunshine, shelter, love and social connectedness. Nature, in my view, is a determined therapist and will continue to hold us through our transitions, until we yield to change and growth or perish due to our rigidity and stupidity.